Gorgeously Stupid

Back to Reverb

2011-12-01T21:41:00.004-05:00

Wow, there are some serious cobwebs in here... Hi again. Where did the year go? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was doing Reverb10, and now it's time for Reverb11 already. It's going down a little differently this year, and I'm following Carolyn from A Beautiful Ripple Effect as she posts prompts daily this December. Forgive me if I disappear again after that... or before. ;)

Prompt #1: One Word
Encapsulate the year 2011 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2012 for you?

MOVE.

My word for this year is move. I feel like the whole year has been about movement of some kind or another. Moving up, moving on, moving out, moving in... or just plain moving.

At the beginning of the year, I tried the 21 Day Yoga Challenge to get me in the yoga habit, and while it didn't stick right away, I am currently yoga-ing 2-3 times a week at home. It feels really good to have a calming-yet-physical activity to turn to after I've had a rough day at work, when my hips feel tight, or when I have extra energy to burn. Speaking of burning energy, I also discovered this year that I don't hate running. By this time next year, might I be calling myself not just a yogini but a runner? (Well, best not to get carried away just yet.)

On April 28th, we closed on our first home. We spent what felt like forever moving out of one home--where my husband had lived for six years--and moving into our first ever OURhouse (because it never feels completely yours if he lived there first). There were certainly trying times, but on the whole it's been greatly rewarding to carve out our own niche in a new town between four new walls.

On a personal level, I feel like I've spent a lot of time this year really thinking about who I am, who I want to be, where I want my life to go, what I want it to look like... And that feels like movement to me, too. I still have a lot to put behind me, but I can see how much I have in front of me, too. I try to make it a point to always be thinking about what I want, what my dreams are, and how I can go about fulfilling them.

I don't want to get stagnant. I don't want to stand still. I worry sometimes that, since we've decided it's likely that we won't have children, the most exciting parts of our lives could be over. I know it doesn't have to be that way, but I also know that we have to (and why shouldn't we?) work for our excitement, our dreams, the big things we yearn for. And part of that is figuring out what those big things and dreams even are.

Dream big and keep on moving.

Date Night Idea #1

2011-05-28T14:36:00.000-05:00

My dear husband sent me a picture today to remind me of one of our early dates. He had taken me to a local bar for wing night, and we decided to have a Messiest Eater Contest.

It was a crappy cell phone picture (this was before the iPhone... or, at least, WAY before it came to Verizon), but you can still sort of see the wing sauce covering his cheek! It was too early in the budding relationship for me to go all out, so he won.

Tonight, we're going out for a happy hour wing sesh with my mama and we'll be thinking fondly of this night. This time, he'll be getting a run for his money on the Messy Face!

On Children

2011-05-27T10:15:00.003-05:00

Dudes, I'm going to post something heavy today, even though I have hemmed and hawed over it for a while. Partly because it's already written and hey, why not?, and partly because if I can't post about the heavy stuff, then what's the point? I just want to make sure I point out ahead of time that just because we are wrestling with this decision and see favorable points on either side does in NO WAY indicate that we are judging anyone else who has already made the decision (either way) or who did not struggle with the decision like we did/are. Everyone is different, with different motivations in life, and different things will make us whole.

Item number 88 on my 101 in 1,001 list is to decide whether or not I want to have children. The finality of both choices seems like a death sentence.

Several weeks ago (before moving), Husband & I were talking about our new house, and all the hopes and dreams we had for it, and all the things it would change. Unprompted, he said, "I think subconsciously, by choosing the house we did, we are pretty sure we don't want children."

[Much of which I've probably mentioned, the house is 2 bedrooms and a small office - the small office is or could technically be a bedroom but is very small. Big enough for a nursery, except that it's on the first floor while the other two bedrooms are on the second. Also, the house sits right across from the river, and I'm sure most people with toddlers and young, adventurous would that it's a pretty precarious location for those young'ns.]

And something in me soared. This idea of freedom. Saving money. Pursuing dreams (mine of which were never of children) and happiness. We are not lonely. We do not feel incomplete.

And then we closed on the house. That evening, we took some of his family over to give them a quick tour of the inside. As we stood in the living room, preparing to go upstairs, Husband (with no warning whatsoever) announced, "I don't want to bust anyone's bubble [I did NOT later tell him that it would have been more grammatically correct to say "burst"], but we're probably not having any children."

Once announced outside of our own relational confines, it didn't sound so freeing. It sounded limiting. Aside from feeling as if I needed to explain myself, I also felt pigeonholed. Forever childless. How depressing...?

I would be remiss if I didn't admit that seeing pictures of happy families, children smiling, growing, laughing, didn't tug at my heartstrings. That images of noisy breakfasts and evening baths didn't sometimes seem worth having. But life isn't lived in photographs, and what makes one person happy is not the universal secret to contentment. [And I would also be remiss if I didn't mention that being in a small room with all of my husband's cousins' kids makes me feel like a mental patient. There, I said it.]

We will always lament the choices we do not make, the paths we do not take. With children, I fear we might yearn for quiet, lazy weekend mornings with coffee in our pajamas. We may wonder what we could have done with our lives had we not had to put the children first. We might look on with envy as our child-free friends take vacations and buy new leather couches for their living rooms and add water features to their landscaping*. Will we look at each other and wonder what happened to our relationship? Our love? Because, would it stand the test of children and responsibilities and soccer practices and cooking dinner for four and paying for college tuition?

Without children, I fear we will look out onto our lawn and not see happy faces, laughing and playing with the dogs. We will have no one to take pride in but ourselves. We will wonder what it would have felt like to hold a warm, new baby to our chests, knowing that our love and our biology and our DNA created this living, breathing human being. We will wonder if anyone will care for us in our old age, if anyone will miss us when we pass away. Will we look at each other and wonder how much deeper our love could have been if we'd have had someone to share it with? Will the daily monotony of our lonely, grown-up lives grow heavy like a ton of bricks?

I think about this every day. My window of opportunity is narrowing, because Husband is several years older than I am and is losing his desire to run around after little ones. But I don't want to make a decision to do something just because I fear regretting it in the future - this is a lifelong decision, and I don't want to base it on what-ifs.

Are you having/do you have children? Was the decision a struggle for you?

*OK the water feature thing is tongue-in-cheek, y'all. I have no interest in water features, I've just been watching Yard Crashers a TON lately! Do you watch that show? So entertaining.

Five Weeks, Several Meltdowns, and a House on the River

2011-05-17T13:51:00.006-05:00

I've been holding out on you. Remember way back when, I told you we were house hunting?

We found one.

We also already bought it. Closed and everything!

Also, we're moved in.

Our little house

I had big intentions of blogging the whole thing, but you know what? It was quick, relatively painless, totally boring, and we were really. freaking. busy. Anyway, so yeah -- we bought a house! It is a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath Cape Cod built in 1939 but really nice inside. It has a garage out back with attic storage and a finished bonus room (but no water or permanent heat, so I don't think I'm prepared to use it as a guest room any time soon!). It needed very little work for us to move in, and it also has a great view of the river from the front of the house (and we're high up enough to not be in a flood zone, so it's a win-win).

View from our front porch on a hazy day

The first weekend we owned it, we started doing the little work we needed to do for move-in. The menfolk dug post holes for the fence that needed to go up, and I painted the mudroom -- the only room in the house that was painted an unacceptable color. While I thought my project was the easy one and the guys had it hard, it turned out they finished their portion of the chores quicker than I even got the primer up in the mudroom. Turns out I'm not a very good painter, and the next time I paint a room, I'll be doing a lot of things differently.

Some pics of the guys building the fence; please ignore my husband's boxer shorts in the second pic.

In the meantime, I'm trying not the let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I love the color I chose, which is a grayish lavender. It leads in very well to our extremely quirky kitchen (dusky blue and lime green walls, white cabinets and gorgeous slate gray Formica countertops -- I know it sounds crazy, but we love it).

On the left is the wall of the kitchen - blue beadboard on a lime green wall - and on the right you can see into the mudroom. The floor really ties all the colors together. I know, I know - your curiosity is piqued.

We're so excited to start this new chapter of our lives which, no doubt, will be full of DIY and not-so-DIY projects. But I think we're both feeling a little bittersweet about leaving our old digs, too. We were so lucky to have lived where we did -- me for almost 3 years and him for more than 8! It was the first place my husband moved into after moving out of his parents' house, and it was the first house we lived together in (also the house in which we shared our first kiss). The new home will be a big change for us, but I'm sure we'll adjust quickly.

At least, I hope so!

Chirp, Chirp

2011-03-25T07:50:00.002-05:00

It's a beautiful day outside (in that the skies are blue - it's still cold out though), the birds have made their way back up north, and I have the day off from work. I plan to spend the day catching up on some housework and some reading, because we've got a very busy weekend ahead of us!

Tonight, we have tickets to see Jim Breuer and Ralphie Mae, and I'm hoping that it'll be a date night full of belly laughs. Tomorrow evening we're attending an annual St. Paddy's Day party that our friends throw every year. And hopefully Sunday, we'll start purging some of the clutter in our home in preparation for an inevitable move (more on that later, swearsies).

Also, dudes - I'm on Twitter. I finally bit the bullet at Amy's insistence that I would enjoy it. She was right, though I'm still getting my Twitter-legs! Follow my extremely humorous and/or ever-so-intellectual tweets here. I would love to have more followers so my husband will stop making fun of me for being a playground reject. (In other news, he is calling me a "tweeter" and thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever come up with.)

Location, Location, Location

2011-03-24T12:46:00.003-05:00

Preparing to purchase a home is bringing to light some of the fundamental differences between my husband and me. A little background info: he currently works in the town we live in, and I work an hour west. So in looking at homes, we're looking at everything near where we live and in the towns up to about 15-20 minutes west of us. We recently got a call from our real estate agent about a home in a town almost at our westward limit. This would be perfect for me, cutting about 15 minutes off my daily commute each way, but would require him to go from a one minute commute to, you know, actually having to travel into work.

The other night as we were talking about the house in question, I noticed a reticent attitude in him and couldn't figure out why. Why wouldn't he want to just start looking? So it might not be The One. So we might not make an offer on the first house we view (why on Earth would we?!?). But there's no harm in looking around. And then he asked me: "Are you sure that's the town you want to live in?" I replied: "I don't care what town we live in, honestly. It's all the same to me." And I meant it. But his reaction to my reply made a light bulb go off in my head.

I have always been a mover (not so much a shaker, but definitely a mover). One of my first memories as a child is sitting in the front seat of a car with my mom as we moved from Pennsylvania to Texas.* When I was 5, we moved from Town One** to Town Two, then 9 months later moved back to Town One. Then when I was 16, right before leaving for college, we moved again, to a town outside of San Antonio. Three months later, I moved out to go to college in Austin, and moved to a new home base every year. After college, I moved to Houston with my then-boyfriend. When things got bad between us, I hopped on a plane with a duffel bag full of clothes and moved back to Pennsylvania.

The moving didn't stop there - oh no! After finishing up the graduate program I started on a whim, the nearest job I found was three hours south - and I took it. Of course, I had already met my now-husband and our relationship grew during its long-distance period, despite what both of us assumed. So after a year at a job I loved, after many fights about who would move where so we could be together, I packed up and moved back to be with him.***

And here we are. We are still living in the very nice duplex he has rented for the last seven-ish years, in a town he was born in and has never left. Nope, he has never lived anywhere but this small town. And therein lies one of the greatest differences between us.

I know that when I move, I will find pretty much the same things that I found in my previous locale, I just have to look for them. I know this from a lifetime (albeit a relatively short one) of past evidence. It takes looking for a new grocery store, looking for a yoga studio (or hoping there is one, in our case), finding the nearest dry cleaner, getting recommendations for a new salon. Familiarizing yourself with a new route to work. Getting to know a new landscape. Finding a new watering hole at which to become a known regular. These things take time and sometimes they aren't easy, but to me, they are part of a process I truly enjoy. And because my friends have always been strewn all over the country, moving never really affects how much I do or don't see them. Our relationships are fine relying on the Internet and the telephone. They always have been.

When I try to be empathetic, I imagine that it is much different for someone who has never lived anywhere else. All those new adventures I listed above just look like hassles to him. Not to mention, the routine that he has created over the last half-decade will be completely disrupted. No more would he be able to go home on his lunch hour, let the dogs out, and take a quick power nap. He couldn't run home in the middle of the day on a whim, because he forgot something or got paranoid about leaving the stove on.

So I have to remember to be patient and understand where he's coming from. The two of us have led very different lives up to now, and we decided in spite of those differences to forge a future together. That future will take sacrifices for both of us, and maybe even for our dogs. And we will make it work.

Another house photo I love from my Houzz ideabook:

traditional kitchen design by boston kitchen and bath Venegas and Company

I love white kitchen cabinets, which may be a really good thing for reasons I may divulge very soon!! *wink*

*To be honest I don't know if I actually have that memory or if I just think I do because my parents have told me the story so many times. For the sake of this post, though, I suppose that's neither here nor there.

**Names withheld to protect identifying information.

***Yes. Sometimes I am still a little bitter about that. I had a great job. I loved the people. I loved the work. And I was good at it. I could have really done something great at that company, and I don't always feel that way about my current job.

Sometimes, I Obsess....

2011-03-16T07:57:00.002-05:00

This week, we took a huge step toward one of our 2011 goals. We contacted a bank and went through the pre-approval process for a mortgage. While this may not seem like a huge deal to some, we have been waiting for this for what feels like a long time, and we have worked hard to get where we are!

We've contacted a real estate agent, so I hope we get to start walking through some houses soon. I love the voyeuristic aspect of walking through someone else's home. Seeing inside other living spaces has always fascinated me. If I'm walking or driving down the street in the evening and can see in a window because of a light on, I get all giddy with excitement, taking note of what they've done with the inside (from my limited window-square vantage point).

But when big stuff like this is going on in my life, I tend to let it overtake me. When I was looking for a car, I internet-searched the bejeezus out of every car dealer in a 200-mile radius. I rubbernecked by auto lots. I called my mom and talked to her about my options incessantly. I test-drove cars and ordered their CARFAX reports. When I was planning my wedding, I read about eleventy billion wedding blogs a day, searched venues in towns I knew were too far away just because I wanted to look at them, and communicated on several wedding forums daily. Admittedly, I can be a tad obsessive. And because we live in a rural area, there are not a ton of options out there for us. In the searching I've done online in the past few days, I'm confident that I'm familiar with just about every home for sale out there in our price range. So I have to stop looking/obsessing and just let things happen.

I'm really bad at that, though, so I've been spending my "spare time" looking through home decor sites like houzz and filling up my "ideabook" with looks that I love. I figure these will be helpful in that I'll be better able to identify both things I already love about a house and things I can do to fix things I DON'T love about the house. You know, in the future, after we adjust to paying the mortgage and all that. Here's one photo I added to my ideabook last night:

spaces design

Though the gray doesn't really fit my personal style (I adore it in the photo), I adore the idea of a bright, pop-of-color dining room table and the printed dining chairs. It's so quirky and fun without being TOO quirky or lacking function.

What's your advice for a first-time homebuyer?

Big Salad

2011-03-14T19:20:00.004-05:00

Every once in a while, I get in the mood for a Big Salad (capital letters absolutely necessary). After living in a lettuce-tomato-onion-and-cheese salad household, I've finally begun to get more creative with my ingredients. Today I took it to the next level by making my own salad dressing. Oh yes. I did.

For the last year, I've been trying to slowly cut out the "factory" from my food - stuff I can't pronounce, ingredients I can't buy in the grocery store, "natural" and artificial flavors. Earlier this month, Michelle of The Sweet Beet wrote a simply informative post about all the things that go into our grocery store salad dressings and why they're there. That, along with a salad dressing shaker I received as a Christmas present from my mother-in-law, inspired me to try my hand at making my own dressing.

Luckily, Michelle also posted a recipe for a balsamic and mustard dressing. I left out the herbs since I wasn't sure how they would taste on a salad, and I was accidentally a little heavy-handed with the honey, but it turned out really, really good.

Forgive the mediocre iPhone pic

The best thing about this dressing was that I made it from ingredients that I always have on hand in my kitchen. There's no MSG, no xanthan gum, no sugar or artificial sweeteners, no coloring... you get my drift.

So, what did this amazing dressing dress? I'm not really a huge fan of lettuce, so I always use spinach in my salads. This one is all spinach, with green and orange bell pepper, celery, mushrooms, grape tomatoes, and grilled chicken.

Go make that balsamic and mustard. Do you have any great dressing recipes? (I'd love to learn how to make a chunky raspberry vinaigrette!)

BBB Book Club: Ape House, Chs. 26-Epilogue

2011-02-23T16:05:00.002-05:00

1. How would you describe the relationship between John and Isabel?

I think toward the end she seemed to find comfort in him. I think she could see that he was genuine and sincere (she trusted the bonobos, who also could see that from the beginning) so she allowed him in. In the end, they worked together toward a common goal. This definitely did not take the turn I suspected it would take from the beginning, and I'm glad of that, for Amanda's sake.

2. What was your reaction to finding out Peter's role in the explosion and capture of the apes?

I was honestly surprised. Sure, it was evident that he was a d-bag after we found out he slept with Celia, but I really expected some kind of redemption from him. If it weren't for some other astute readers out there in BBB-land, I never would have suspected him at all.

3. Both John and Amanda ended up achieving their professional goals. Amanda ended up getting pregnant and John is excited about having a baby. Do you think this is the end to their problems? Can John and Amanda be happy?

Of course I don't think it's the end of their problems, but they did successfully navigate a huge hump. Both of them went through job changes, short periods of unemployment, cross-country moves, and choosing to have a baby together. I think, however, that it is worth noticing that John and Amanda's career successes were due to the others' meddling. John got his job at the Weekly Times because Amanda sent his resume in behind his back. Amanda sold her book because John sent it out behind her back. While it was successful this time, I don't necessarily think this is the way for a relationship to function.

4. What did you find to be the most intriguing about the bonobos?

As someone deeply interested in language, I found their language-acquisition skills to be the most intriguing thing about them. The fact that they are able (and willing!) to pick up American Sign Language and use it to communicate with humans is absolutely remarkable and has huge implications in several fields of research.

5. Which character did you enjoy reading about the most?

I enjoyed reading about Isabel the most. I appreciated that she had intelligence and conviction without extremism or subculture.

6. Was the ending what you expected? Did things resolve the way you thought they would?

The ending was much neater than I expected. Things really worked out, and there ended up being much less tension and drama (not to say there wasn't any!) than I expected in getting there.

7. And finally, any overall thoughts or feelings that these questions haven't addressed? How would you rate this book for others? Any part that you loved? Anything you hated? SHARE!

I rated this book 3/5 stars. So much of it was so absurd - I mean, what did the meth lab really have to do with anything? I enjoyed reading the book, but it was no Water for Elephants. I felt that the ending was too neat and parts of the story too incredulous to do justice to the amazing truths of bonobo behavior and human-bonobo interaction.

ALSO! I was perusing the New York Times on my phone the other day while bored in the grocery line, and I happened upon this article: Monkeys Fattened Up to Study Human Obesity. It confronted a lot of the same issues as in Ape House and thought it was serendipitous that I happened across the article when I did. I don't consider myself an animal rights activist by any means, but I don't necessarily support animal testing and, while I think the end results of this research will be helpful to us humans (nutrition and its relation to obesity is one of my hot-button issues, as some of you probably already know), this research makes me feel ICKY. What do you think?

BBB Book Club: Ape House, Chs. 13-25

2011-02-16T12:00:00.002-05:00

1. Would you watch or be tempted to watch a show like Ape House?

I probably would be tempted to watch, at least at the beginning and to see what all the hype was about. I don’t think I could continue watching, though – I hate seeing animals manipulated for human gain, and the ways in which the apes on Ape House are being manipulated by Faulks is disgusting and abhorrent. (In fact, there are times when I find the plotline of this book to be too absurd… at least, I HOPE it is too absurd… but then again, are the apes in Ape House behaving any differently or being manipulated any less than, say, some choice humans in certain choice reality shows we all love to hate?) I definitely wouldn’t pay for a subscription though, most of all because I’m cheap and lazy.

2. Do you think John did the right thing by quitting his job and moving to L.A.?

That’s such a tough question, and I don’t think there is a right or wrong there. He probably did the right thing for his marriage, but that raises the question of whether or not Amanda did the right thing pursuing that job in Hollywood (which I think is a resounding “no”). Also, John was really getting stepped on at the Inky and his career seemed to be stalling. Whether or not that’s a good time for a journalist to move markets (especially when your destination market is L.A. where writers are probably a dime a dozen) is another question. In the end, I wasn’t shocked by John’s decision and I don’t think it was the wrong thing, but I don’t think he’ll remain at the tabloid after the Ape House story.

3. We haven't seen a whole lot of Isabel in this section, but what do you think of Peter now that we know more about him?

Well, a lot of bad things have definitely come out about him. He was most certainly using Isabel, and he proved that by sleeping with Celia. He still seems like somewhat of a mystery though, which leaves room for surprise!

4. Can John turn the ape story for the tabloid into something he is proud of? Is he getting a little bit of redemption by being assigned to his dream story again even if it is for a tabloid?

Yes, and yes. (Especially since John will have a much easier time getting an interview with Isabel.) But I also think that Topher is a real jerk-off, so who knows what’s going to happen there.

5. Have your thoughts on John and Amanda's marriage changed since last week? Where do you see their marriage headed?

I actually feel better about their marriage this week than I did last. I still think it’s possible that they’re headed for failure, but having seen more of Amanda and how she reacted to Hollywood (in that she is not particularly flourishing in either her job or the lifestyle), and the fact that John is now “living” in L.A., I think there’s definitely hope for the two of them.

6. What do you think will end up happening to the apes?

Firstly, as much as I hate to say it, I think at least one of the apes is going to die before anyone is able to do anything to save them. After that, I think the apes will probably end up in a zoo or animal sanctuary. I don’t see how Isabel could ever get them – it just doesn’t look like it’s going to work that way. But there’s still a lot of book left, so who can say?!?

A Year in Books: 2010

2011-02-11T15:18:00.005-05:00

I was a total bookworm as a child, but in 2010 I started reading again. Here were my favorite books I read last year!

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory
Say what you will about Ms. Gregory's historical accuracy (or lack thereof, as the case may be), but the woman can spin an unputdownable* tale! It doesn't hurt that, in my humble opinion, Henry VIII is one of the most interesting historical characters of all time.

Second Glance by Jodi Picoult
This was the first Jodi Picoult book I read, and judging by how many I've read since, I obviously dig the way she weaves a story together. However, despite the others that I've read, this is still my favorite because it touches on some serious issues. I couldn't put this book down to save my life.

Travels with Lizbeth by Lars Eighner
This book was eye-opening and poignant, and the only non-fiction work on my 'best-of-2010' list. Much of the story is set in Austin, TX, which gives me some connection to its setting since I went to college there. I no longer look at the homeless condition in quite the same way as I did before reading. In fact, I blogged about it right after I read it.

Every Last One by Anna Quindlen
I knew nothing about this book before I read it, and I totally suggest reading it from a place of total ignorance. I was struck throughout this book by how much Quindlen's writing touched me, grabbed me, and threw me around. This was not the book I thought it was going to be - it was so much better. This is definitely one I might re-read someday.

Losing Julia by Jonathan Hull
While a little more slow-moving than I generally like, the language in this one was just so beautiful. If I wouldn't have been reading from a library book, I would have had a highlighter in hand the whole time. Hull really has a way with words.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett
This book is as good as everyone says it is. Don't think I have to say much more than that. I blogged about this one, too, but it does have spoilers so be warned!

Catching Fire (Book #2 in the Hunger Games series) by Suzanne Collins
I liked The Hunger Games well enough to move on to the second, but this one, I thought, was so much better. I'm not typically into YA fiction, but this book got inside my head!

*of course it's a word; I just coined it, yo!

Ahh-Mazing Turkey Chili

2011-02-11T12:59:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, a friend came over and brought us a container full of chili his wife had just made. It was so good, we got inspired and decided to make our own! We cobbled a few slow-cooker recipes together and threw in some extra ingredients that we love, and we were amazed at how wonderfully it turned out. Bonus points: it freezes well and tastes just as delish the second time around!

Slow Cooker Turkey Chili

2 lbs ground turkey, browned

1/2 green bell pepper and 1/2 red bell pepper, chopped

1 1/2 white onions, chopped

2 cloves garlic, chopped

1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 can kernel corn, drained

2 14oz cans diced tomatoes

1 8oz can tomato sauce

2 tbs chili powder

Salt and pepper

More chili powder, garlic powder, and cayenne, to taste

This recipe was so easy, because once everything was chopped and the turkey was browned, it all just got tossed into the slow cooker. I think we cooked it on high for a couple of hours then turned it down to low for a while. (The thing I love about slow cookers is you pretty much can't do it wrong.) At first it was really chunky and thick, but after cooking for several hours it developed some broth. I like my chili thick, so I mixed about 2 tablespoons of flour into the chili right before serving to thicken it up. Highly delish, but totally optional.

BBB Book Club: Ape House, Chs. 1-12

2011-02-07T19:36:00.003-05:00

The Book Beginnings and Bookends book club is reading Ape House right now, by Sara Gruen, who wrote Water for Elephants (which was the first book I read on my Kindle and I really loved it). Only twelve chapters inthttp://www.blogger.com/o Ape House, but so far I'm really enjoying it.

1. What was your initial reaction to the idea of a language lab with bonobos who are capable of having conversations with humans?

I thought it was pretty interesting and was excited to know more about it. Before I started reading, I knew that Gruen had done some real research into the lives and capabilities of bonobos, so I was looking forward to learning about their language capabilities without having to read a non-fiction book :)

2. Isabel said early in the book that the apes know they're apes and know that the humans are humans, but they don't see any superiority with either... What do you think the major difference is between the two?

This is a tricky question and I'm really not sure how to answer it. I'm sorry if that seems like a cop-out but that needs more consideration!

3. What are your thoughts on John and his feelings toward Isabel? How do you think their relationship will play out?

I'm not sure yet, but I feel like there's going to be some tension. It seems like John is fostering a growing infatuation with Isabel, but I certainly don't, at this point, feel like Isabel will be receptive to that.

4. How do you think Isabel will respond to the apes being taken?

I think she's going to try to do everything she can to get them back. She sees them as irreplaceable individuals. As someone who totally feels the concept of animals being part of your family, I can't imagine losing something that important to you. And to see these living creatures sold like property... She is the character so far that is the most keenly aware of the apes' intelligence, so I'm sure she feels insulted on their behalf.

5. Do you think Celia is part of the team that ambushed the learning center?

Right now I'm thinking no, but I do think there's something up with her. Just not sure what it is yet.

6. What are your thoughts on John and his relationship with Amanda?

Perhaps I'm just a pessimist, but it seems to be falling apart. I think her going to L.A. is symbolic of a bigger, relationship-level walking away to come. Just as she has been distant because of the death of her cat, I feel like John is about to become distant as well, investigating the explosion at the lab and possibly nursing an infatuation with Isabel.

Hell Week Brain Dump

2011-02-05T17:06:00.003-05:00

This past week was totally crazy for me, and I am spending this weekend in a mental recovery. Between ice-pocalypse and a Presidential visit, TGIF didn't really even touch it yesterday! (Also, I had such a BAD Friday that I didn't have a chance to appreciate it.)

Monday night, I had to work until 8:00 taking photos at a dinner banquet my department was hosting. Holy twelve-hour day, dudes!

Tuesday and Wednesday were call-off days thanks to the snow and ice that pelted us this week. Though I took it pretty easy on Tuesday (aside from making nice lunches and dinners for the husband and me), I worked from home all day Wednesday.

Thursday, President Obama visited the local University and I scored a ticket to his policy speech on clean and efficient energy solutions. SO EXCITING! But this took up half of my entire workday as we got in line early and waited for several hours for the speech to start.

Friday, I caught up on my work (mostly). Despite working from home on Wednesday, I have a real pile-up - which is good! But busy! Also had a really bad day, including some conflict with both a colleague and my husband. I ended up drinking a glass of wine and falling asleep early just to make the day end.

Needless to say, I am so excited to have this weekend to relax and regroup, without having to feel guilty about not picking up the laptop and checking my emails (work-related ones, that is). Some of the things on my "relaxing" to do list...

Work out - I skipped all week because I was lazy and in a miserably bad mood.

Read the assigned section of Ape House by Sara Gruen for the Book Beginnings and Bookends blog book club.

Start Tolstoy's War and Peace - I'm participating in a read-along (if I don't give up, that is)! We'll be finished by the end of 2011. Ha!

Take a hot bath with bubbles. I just really feel like I deserve this, and I could use the quiet alone time.

Catch up on my Google Reader. I have around 200 unread posts and I feel like I must be missing something out there in cyberland!

And, of COURSE, we'll be watching the Superbowl tomorrow night. We plan on making hot wings and baking cupcakes, and we'll be rooting for the Packers! Aaron Rodgers led my husband's Fantasy Football team to a lucrative win, so we're standing by his side to the end ;)

Do you consider reading War and Peace to be a valid weekend-decompression method? And the million-dollar question: Who are you rooting for on Sunday?

Challenging Myself to Yoga

2011-02-01T08:47:00.003-05:00

[image credit - Paola Renno]

As of January 10th, I began participating in Yoga Journal's 21 Day Yoga Challenge - a challenge to practice yoga every day for 21 days straight - which just ended yesterday. Now, I would be lying to you if I said that I actually did a significant amount of yoga every day - and, dear readers, I would never lie to you ;) I don't even think I did yoga MOST days. I have a full time job, an hour-long commute each way, and a daily need for decompression time. Y'all, if I don't spend a little time each day either reading in a cocoon on my couch or watching television, I get pissy. And when I'm pissy, it ain't pretty. So, yeah. I'm not doing yoga every day.

But what this challenge has done for me is to get my brain in yoga mode. I do spend at least a few minutes every day stretching my muscles - especially the ones that feel extra tense (usually my neck and shoulders, thanks to my sub-par posture, or my hips from all that office desk sitting). I do notice my posture more. I'm making an effort to sit up straighter in my desk chair, relax my tense shoulders, and shake out my jaw a bit (I have TMJ disorder, but that's a tragic story for another time). I try to spend more time with my legs uncrossed.

And most of all, I try to always notice my breath. Am I breathing? (Let's hope!) Deeply enough? (Not usually.) Filling my lungs and then letting it all out? When I'm frustrated with someone or when my brain gets muddled from workplace overdrive, I sit back (with good posture!) and focus on my breath for a while. For nighttime relaxation, I discovered four-square breathing. Nothing slows me down and chills me out better than this breathing technique.

Do you do yoga? Or have you taken up any new forms of exercise or wellness this New Year?

New Year Goals

2011-01-25T16:52:00.002-05:00

I don't do New Year's Resolutions, but I do make goals every year (the semantic difference being that I don't have to wake up on January 1 - bleary-eyed and half-hungover - a whole new person, I just have to spend the year trying to reach my goals... and yes, I get ALL YEAR!). I love the chance at a new beginning and use every chance I get to renew commitments I've made to myself. Every Sunday night, even, is a chance to make the next week special and great. And that's what I love about the new year, too. I mean, it's arbitrary, but I make it important.

So anyway, I made a few 2011 goals for myself. These goals are really just outpourings of things to which I'm already committed - a re-commitment to things that are already important in my life but that might deserve a little bit more attention in '11. I am obsessed by the idea of de-cluttering this new year - my mind, my body, and my physical space.

One of the biggest projects I want to take on this year is de-cluttering our home. I want to go through the whole place room-by-room and set aside the things that don't add value to our lives. I want to truly care for every materials possession I have, and right now I have way too much junk and extraneous miscellany for that to be possible. I feel sorry that there are gifts - even from my parents - that I'll have to get rid of, but... really Mom? Am I ever going to wear those one-piece footie pajamas (though I wish I could should y'all the picture of my husband trying them on)? Do I really need five comforters and twelve pillows for two beds (one of which is used maybe twice a year, tops)? do I really need that breadmaker that I've only used twice, to varyingly crappy results?

I want everything we own to be deliberate, useful, and meaningful (or to at least fulfill two out of those three requirements!). Because our biggest goal as a baby family this year is to purchase a home of our own, we've really come to start thinking: "Is all this stuff we have worth the carrying?"
People who know me well know that I'm just a tad bit obsessed about health and nutrition, but also that I can be thrown off track really easily (see: The Holidays). I want to de-clutter my body by filling it only with clean, whole, real things. I want to eat only things that actually provide nourishment and cut out empty calories and food-for-comfort. We have spent so much money - and consumed so many calories - plopping down on the couch after a hard day at work and giving up by calling for takeout.

Eating well is one of the single most important things you can do for your body, and I intend to put the time into feeding myself and my family with that in mind. Yes, it takes more time to prepare meals every night from whole ingredients, but we are worth the effort. (This has the added benefit of keeping us away from restaurants and pizza delivery, which also has a positive impact on our bottom line. We are saving for that down payment, after all!)
Most of all this year, I want to de-clutter my mind. While this is probably the weightiest of my topics, it needs the fewest words to explain. I want to forgive myself for the past. I want to see myself for who I am NOW - not who I was six, seven, and eight years ago. I want to see myself the way the people who know me and care for me do: as a capable, intelligent woman with great qualities and a full life of possibility ahead. Here's to new beginnings. ;)

Finding the Best Things

2010-12-17T13:58:00.003-05:00

December 17 – Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

One of the things I learned about myself this year was that I can rise to the occasion, no matter how much self-doubt I entertain along the way! Or, as Kelle at Enjoying the Small Things would say, "I can rally."**

I can indeed do whatever it is that I set my mind to. That is an empowering discovery, especially for someone who has a tendency to beat myself up over every small failure. I can plan an amazing party. I can be a good wife. Hell, I can even cook and clean, dudes (and the cooking part I'm A-OK at)! I can also do those other important things like be a good family member, succeed in my career, and manage my money well. This a big deal :)

Even when I am stressed to the max, pushed to the breaking point, I can rally. I can make what needs to happen, happen. And I can come back from the proverbial "edge" and I will be a stronger person from having peered at the cavernous valley below and pushed through the fear.

**Y'all. If you're not reading Kelle's amazing blog, you are missing out. I say that as someone who has never commented [I'm bad like that], so she has no earthly idea who I am, but every post she writes is full of meaning and fills me with joy and inspiration. Love, love, love.

Finding the Sweet Spot

2010-12-16T15:07:00.003-05:00

It seems like I'm always at least a day behind here, doesn't it? That's how I feel in real life, too.

December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

2010 was all about family for me. Growing closer to my family. Gaining a whole new family. Starting a baby family, and thereby redefining what family means to me and to us. I want to remember the love and laughter that got me here, but also the tough decisions and standing by them. I know that my mission for 2011 is to find my voice, to better stand up for myself when I know there's something I want or need or believe - but 2010 laid the foundation for that. Getting married is a Big Deal, and not in the Holy-Crap-Wedding kind of way (though that was fun), but in a Whole-Life kind of way. And in BOTH ways, getting married pretty much overshadowed everything else that happened this year.

But instead of trying to excuse that, I'd rather just embrace it. I want to remember the way it felt to have my family and friends altogether, and the forgiveness and healing that was in the air when people close to me who hadn't spoken in years finally hugged it out. I want to remember the way it felt to be accepted by people who really didn't know me all that well - just because my husband loves me and chose me to be his wife. I want to remember the way it felt to take our vows. How it felt when it was finally over and it was just us. And how it feels right now, still in the newness of it, but at the same time delighting in the glorious "regular-ness."

Aaaand my five minutes are up. What will you remember most about your year?

Finding Time

2010-12-13T09:36:00.003-05:00

WOW - this past weekend, I was SO.Flipping.Busy. We bought and installed a new washer and dryer on Friday evening, bought and wrapped Christmas presents on Saturday, and decorated our home on Sunday (and caught up on all the laundry we missed in the two weeks we went sans-laundry facilities).

And I'm falling behind on my Reverb10 prompts! So let's see if I can find the time to catch up today, no?

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

I'm going to stop at 8, because anything past that would be contrived and dishonest.

1. Timidity
I can be so timid sometimes that I tend to get walked on. I NEED 2011 to be the year that I find my voice and start acting with a little bit more assertiveness.

2. Fear
I have so many goals and things I want to accomplish, but I always find a reason to avoid working toward them because I am afraid of failure or embarrassment or something. It's time to stop being afraid!

3. The Green-Eyed Monster
I do a lot of comparing. I compare my life, my career, my style, my salary - everything. This brings out the green-eyed monster in me sometimes, and that is so unflattering. I'm going to stop comparing myself to everyone else and start being happy.

4. Procrastination
I am the best procrastinator I know. In fact, it's too bad that it's a negative quality, because I'm that good at it.

5. Excuses Not to Work Out
The excuses machine has to stop, and I truly need to make exercise an integral part of my daily routine.

6. Fast Food
Goodbye McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and KFC. I do NOT need you in my belly.

7. Taking Things Personally
I am so ridiculously sensitive sometimes. It impedes my relationships with other people.

8. Beating Myself Up
No more calling myself "fat ass." I wouldn't call any of YOU that, so why do I think it's OK to say it to me? It's not. Also, no more wasting time regretting things I've done in the past. I'm going to let bygones be bygones and move the hell on with my life!

Finding Wisdom

2010-12-11T10:12:00.003-05:00

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

["Frontier Psychiatrist" - The Avalanches]

This is a tough prompt for me, because it's forcing me to share some things that I generally keep rather close to me, for what will be obvious reasons. Some of you are familiar with bits and pieces of my history. Five and a half years ago, I moved from Texas to Pennsylvania in order to escape a very abusive relationship with a man I'd been living with for three years.

The fault for such a disfunctional relationship did not all lie with him, but years later I am still trying to reconcile the fact that I let myself be abused, manipulated, and lied to by a man whom everyone could see through but me. I still have anxiety attacks about things that happened back then, and at times I even let the baggage that I'll always carry with me affect my current relationships, not only with my husband but with members of my family as well.

As y'all probably know, abusive relationships are all-consuming, and even when you're free from them (and glad of it!), they have a way of tagging along on your back through everything you do. I am currently a happier person than I have ever been. Going through a negative relationship like that one has just helped to prove what a wonderful man I've found in my husband, and I grow to love and appreciate him more every day. But now that we are married, it is more important than ever for me to be the best person that I can be inside for us and our future.

So I made the decision to start seeing a counselor to work through some of the issues that I still have related to my past. With her, I'm learning to understand and forgive myself. I think it was a wise decision for me, for my husband, and for our life together.

Y'all, love isn't supposed to hurt. Love is not manipulation. And physical abuse is not the only kind of abuse. Emotional abuse is real, and it hurts.
National Domestic Violence Hotline

Finding a Good Party

2010-12-09T16:08:00.003-05:00

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

I think it's pretty obvious where I'm going to have to go on this one... I got married this year, and it was the most kick-ass party of all time (in my ever-so-humble opinion, that is). Our ceremony was so heartfelt and meaningful, and it was really the highlight of my day. But the party that followed was full of laughter, dancing, drinking, and love.

It's so hard to put into words a day that makes your whole life feel like you're in the right place, doing the right thing, with all the right people. All my friends were together, all my family was together, and I even made a new friend (hello coordinator!).

I'll let the pictures tell the story, but since this prompt is about a party, I'll self-edit to reception pics!

[all pictures by Tim of Cardens Photography]

Finding Beautiful

2010-12-09T09:01:00.003-05:00

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

This is a tough prompt for me, because I'm not one to talk myself up... especially with regard to things that cannot be measured objectively. Something I've always liked about myself, though, is my sense of humor. Whether I'm in a professional or social situation, I can find a way to use humor to make myself more accessible as a person. I can see the humor in anything, and I try to bring smiles to others' faces every day. To me, there's nothing better than laughing - hard!

[my family thinks I'm funny, too - but looks aren't everything...]

Finding Community

2010-12-07T09:18:00.004-05:00

I am back after a long absence to jump on the #reverb10 bandwagon, albeit a little late. The purpose of #reverb10 - to "reflect on this year and manifest what's next" - really resonates with me this time of year. I've always considered December a time of reflection on the past year and beginning with deliberate intention to plan and make goals for the next (even if said goals fall by the wayside sometimes come February and March...).

Today's Prompt

December 7 – Community Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

This past year, especially toward the end, I have made an effort to consider my work colleagues a bigger part of my community. In the past, I've tried with all my might (perhaps partially out of insecurity) to keep my work and my personal life very separate. I still do want them to be separate, but I recently have allowed myself to socialize more with colleagues and take an interest in them personally.

I think I have a bit of a fear that if I let people in, they will try to destroy me. Paranoid much? Yes, my therapist and I are working on this ;) But I have begun to let some new people in and develop friendly relationships with them, and this has been nothing but rewarding for me. It's so nice to take a walk and chat midday or to go somewhere for a nice lunch to get out of the office.

In 2011, I'll continue to foster these relationships. I don't have to be an island here at work! I also want to work on my relationships with my in-law family. Sometimes I complain about being lonely, when I know that there are plenty of people out there who would love to be there for me, if I could just open up to them.

* * *

Since I picked up #reverb10 so late in the game, I'm going to play a little bit of catch-up on some of the earlier prompts that inspired me.

Catching Up

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

My sense of wonder this year was really cultivated through reading. Last year around the time work let out for our really awesome week-long holiday break, I decided I wanted to become a reader again. When I was a child, I read all.the.time. When my family would go out to dinner, I had my nose in a book. When we took drives out in the countryside, my nose was in a book. And I constantly had a stack of paperbacks by my bedside. Sometime in college, this fell by the wayside for me, and then last year I realized that my intellectual life was lacking - my creative flame was extinguished!

So I went to the library and grabbed a couple of novels, putting aside all my preconceptions about low-brow vs. high-brow "literature." Ever since, I have been reading up a storm! So far this year, I have read 42 books (including audiobooks that I listen to on my commute). I'll do a full post on my favorite books of the year and such, but entering other worlds through an author's words has definitely cultivated my sense of wonder this year. It has piqued my interest in new subjects, taught me things I didn't know, and transported me to different times and places, both real and imagined.

BBB Book Club: Commencement, Part II

2010-10-23T07:32:00.002-05:00

1. What parts of the book could you most relate to? Least relate?
I don't know if I could really relate to any of it, per se. I related to bits and pieces of each character, but I didn't have a relevant college experience nor did I have that kind of lasting group friendship that the girls had after college. I guess I did have a falling out with a group of friends, so I know what that's like.

One thing I did relate to - and I found this unfortunate - was the way Sally felt when she first got pregnant. Though I've never been pregnant, this is my biggest fear of pregnancy: that I'll feel just that way, and not only will I be miserable, but the guilt in feeling miserable will make it twice as bad. Obviously, my husband and I are still on the fence about having children.

2. If the author were to write another novel that followed one of the girls onto her next step of life, which one would you want it to be about? Whose story would you want to follow more of?
April's story is the only one that truly seems all that interesting at this point. An interesting story should have some drama to it! And April is the one who provided the real drama in this book. The irony in April's situation taught an important lesson, too.

3. What surprised you the most about this book?
I think what surprised me the most was that it wasn't at all about what I thought it would be about. It focused heavily on varying ways to look at feminism and how feminism affects/speaks to different kinds of women. Also, even by the middle of the book I had no idea that April would become almost the "main character."

4. Which character did you look forward to reading about the most?
I looked forward most to reading about April. Part II was really her story.

5. Did this book meet your expectations?
I didn't really go into this book with expectations; I had no idea what it was about. I did enjoy the book, though.

BBB Book Club: Commencement, Part I

2010-10-08T14:30:00.003-05:00

We're currently discussing J. Courtney Sullivan's book, Commencement. If you'd like to learn more about the book club, click the button above!

1. Which girl do you identify the most with?
Honestly, I identify most with April. When I was in college, I was just like that - very idealistic, to a fault; I didn't care about my appearance at all, except in how it reflected my "subversive nature" (e.g. piercings, alternative style). I had big ideas about changing the world and being a part of something bigger than myself. I didn't identify much with my family. I grew up with grandparents because my mother was a little bit, erm, out there and I never met my father. So I could relate with April on those points, too.

In a way, though, I also relate to Sally. She got involved in a very irregular relationship in college that could have had negative affects on her life. She also had a wild streak. And then after college she met a man she fell in love with - a very normal dude - and settled down. This is me to a T.

2. If you're a college student or graduate, what similarities or differences do you see between this story to your own college experience?
My college experience was really, really different. I attended a small liberal arts university in Texas. It was a religious school, but they were very liberal. I never got involved in too much stuff on campus. I wasn't interested in school spirit or traditions. I was never much for girl friends, but I did make two close ones who I eventually moved into an apartment with. I am no longer friends with one and am not close with the other - living together, and my subsequent attitude changes, ruined those friendships.

At first, I very much made myself a part of the intellectual atmosphere - studying with classmates, discussing Big Ideas, reading and writing poetry, drum circles, etc. Toward the end of my experience, I wanted to separate myself from the school as much as possible. I was living with my then-very-serious-boyfriend and I'd (we'd) gotten involved in some other, erm, subversive things that I'd prefer not to mention on this blog. If you're dreadfully curious, you can email me.

3. Which girl do you think has changed the most since her time in college? In what ways has she changed?
My first instinct is to say Celia. I never took her for a New York City, sleep-around, single-life kind of girl. That's not to say that it's a bad lifestyle - I just didn't see her going there. However, I guess you could say that Sally's changed, too. Going from having an affair with a much older professor and being very wild to settling down before her other friends and getting married to a relatively normal dude - well, that's a change. Then again, I never expected Bree to go to law school, much less at Stanford.

And here are Rocky Mountain Wife's questions!
Do you think Celia, April and Bree’s disapproval of Jake largely stems from jealousy of Sally?
I don't know. I hate to be the girl that calls jealousy on attitudes like that, because I'm just not sure yet. Perhaps they are a little - but also, it's just hard to understand someone else's happiness with settling down when you're not in that place yet. It's not necessarily jealousy, just "not getting it."

If you have a significant other, how have your relationship with your closest girlfriends changed? Do you still go to them for advice?
In the past, when I had significant others, they were my world. I neglected my friends and put off my family for them. But for me, that was a sign of a bad relationship. My very good friends stuck around though, and in my current relationship, everything is different. I still go to my girl friends to vent, for advice, etc. I can't get all of my emotional fulfillment from my husband; I realize that's not healthy. But things with girlfriends are different, for sure.

On Book Reviews and The Help

2010-09-17T12:32:00.000-05:00

After I've read a book - especially I book I adored - I like to go to the book's page on Goodreads and read the reviews that disagree with me. I'll read the negative reviews to try to understand what they were thinking, and hence try to learn something about myself or my reading style.

One thing I've noticed about myself for sure is that I'm not necessarily a critical reader. (Hey, y'all, I'm not in college anymore - I don't have to be, if that's not what I enjoy... right?) If I can get caught up in a plot... if I find the characters interesting, sympathetic, or relatable.... and if the writing is better than half-assed (I do still notice terrible writing. I'm looking at you, James Patterson.*) I devour the book.

Some people are much more critical readers than I am. Some people just enjoy different things than I do. But I have to try to know why.

**Spoiler Alert - if you've not read The Help and you intend to, you might want to skip the rest of this entry.**
I just finished Kathryn Stockett's The Help. I loved it. It made me laugh. It made me cry. It made me think. Goodreads user Meredith had a different viewpoint on it. She writes:

"In this book, a white woman writes from the point of view of a black woman during the Civil Rights movement, who overhears the conversations of white women. It's an important topic, and I don't want to hear it through untrustworthy narrators."

I see her point. (Though I will say that she admitted to not finishing the book, and at the end of the book Stockett writes about how she grew up with a black maid. So, while I still see Meredith's point, I also can see the other side. Stockett did have experience with the black/white employer/maid relationship in this time period.)

I had other problems with the book, though. Skeeter was lauded as a hero in this book. I can't help but think (especially after I read the bit about Stockett's personal experience) that Stockett modeled Skeeter after herself a little bit. And my problem with Skeeter was that 1) she put a lot of black women in danger in order to "make it" as a writer in New York City, basically tromping on the backs of these women so that she could have what she wanted (so typically white-girl, don't you think?) and 2) she took credit for Aibeleen's writing. Aibeleen wrote her own stories herself. This was somewhat mitigated by the fact that Skeeter published the book anonymously and then Aibeleen got the Miss Myrna job, but still.

I also thought the ending was trite. I wanted more. I wanted answers. I wanted truth and reality. What I got felt like, "Well, I think I'm done here. Maybe they'll publish it just like it is. Who wants coffee?"

I'm still not changing my five-star review on Goodreads though. I generally give out stars based on how a book makes me feel, not my intellectual critique of it, unless the writing is just so terrible that I can't even get into the story (looking at you again, Patterson*).

*No offense to anyone who likes James Patterson.

Giveaway Alert!

2010-09-16T10:24:00.003-05:00

Thanks to Jenna at That Wife, I've been alerted to an awesome giveaway. Jessica at One Shiny Star is giving away a copy of Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food.

I already own this book, so I don't need to win it, but I wanted to give y'all a heads-up just in case any of you are interested in it. This is a topic that I would consider one of my passions. I read Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma last year around this time and he completely changed the way I think about food.

I still don't always make the best food decisions, but I hit the farmer's market a lot more often, try not to buy anything with high fructose corn syrup, and attempt as much as possible to avoid meat from CAFOs (confined animal feeding operations).

So, if you're interested in possibly winning this book and changing the way YOU eat,

enter the giveaway at One Shiny Star

StoryCorps

2010-09-15T12:18:00.000-05:00

Most people don't know this about me, but I prefer to listen to NPR in the car as opposed to boring top-40 radio. I spend two hours a day in the car - an hour each way to and from work - and I get sick of hearing the same old songs over and over again, as well as the stupid commercials and cheesy DJs.

In the last month or so, StoryCorps came to our area, so my local NPR station has been playing snippets of some of those conversations. Invariably, they make me cry. (On a side note, when did I become so emotional?!?)

If you're not familiar with StoryCorps - from their website:

"The heart of StoryCorps is the conversation between two people who are important to each other: a son asking his mother about her childhood, an immigrant telling his friend about coming to America, or a couple reminiscing on their 50th wedding anniversary. By helping people to connect, and to talk about the questions that matter, the StoryCorps experience is powerful and sometimes even life-changing."

After mentioning my love for StoryCorps on Facebook one day, a friend linked me to the StoryCorps animations, one of which absolutely captured me. I've seen it in various places on the web since, including on other people's Facebook pages and on Geek in Heels (in fact, her post is what reminded me that I wanted to share this with y'all).

This story is absolutely captivating - heartbreaking and inspiring all at the same time. Watch for yourselves, and tell me what you think... but have a tissue handy! You might need it.

Falling into Fall

2010-09-14T11:37:00.000-05:00

I can feel the change in us as summer starts to twist into fall. We are adapting to the temperatures, the rise and set of the sun, the new responsibilities that come with the new seasons. In the summer, we come home and crack a beer from the fridge, sitting at the table on the back patio waiting for a breeze. We cook dinner at 8 or 8:30. Now, we are coming home to put our hoodies on, and we're starting to eat dinner earlier to beat the sunset. I am incorporating more crock pot meals and heavy dishes like meatloaf and pot roast. I am craving coffee late in the day.

Instead of yearning to go out on the weekends, I want to hermit up inside with a blanket and a book. I want to watch every good football game on television. I want to cook hearty meals and bake treats. I want to turn off my phone and forget I have a computer.

This past weekend, I did all my favorite fall things - watched football, cooked in the crock-pot, baked cookies, drank a fabulous sauvignon blanc, and lost myself in a really good book: Losing Julia, by Jonathan Hull. I loved it.

My pot roast crock-pot recipe comes from my good friend A (no measurements, because I swear you don't need them!):

Chuck roast
Baby carrots
Celery
White onion
Baby red potatoes
1 packet of Knorr's Au Jus sauce, mixed with 1 1/4 cup water (it will still be grainy - that's ok)

Slide up the onion and celery, and quarter your red potatoes. Throw everything in the crock-pot together and let it cook. The meat will fall apart. It'll be juicy, so it's a little stew-esque. My husband got the wild idea to throw in a drained can of corn at the end, and it was really good!

The Secret Life... Chapters 50-71

2010-09-13T11:31:00.001-05:00

1. At the end we find out Tim was sending Cory money because he thought she could be his daughter since he was having an affair with Genevieve. Did you see this coming?
I absolutely did not see that coming. I would never have guessed that Genevieve would have had an affair with a student - that changes my opinion somewhat of Genevieve. (Not necessarily that I think of her more negatively, but it's easy to put the dead on a pedestal and it turns out she's really only human.) I just figured Tim felt bad about what he did to CeeCee - but I guess that wasn't it at all.

2. By the end of the story, what were your feelings about Eve? How had they changed since the beginning?
I think Eve turned out to be a really good woman. I know she made a lot of mistakes, but after they kind of snowballed, there really wasn't much else she could do but keep rolling with it. I think she made the best out of a really crappy situation. I think she ended up being very strong and bore her burden with her chin up. I might be Captain Obvious here, but she definitely grew up a lot!

I have to say this, though. Toward the end of the story, I kept wishing that Eve would have just kept her mouth shut. Tim's life was already ruined, and speaking up really only ruined her own family. Russel had already come to terms with his loss. Jack had built his whole life around the vision of Eve that she had laid out for him. And Cory - well, finding out the truth really only made everything worse for her. I felt bad about wishing Eve would have just kept up the lie, but it's what I wished and it would be disingenuous of me not to admit it to y'all.

3. Were you happy with the way President Russel treated Cory?
Um, no. No I wasn't. In the end, I was glad that he decided to go easy on Eve, but his interactions with Cory I thought were terrible. I mean, giving your newly minted daughter a check?!? That is so insulting. Though at the same time, I'm sure he had no idea how to behave toward her, so I have to try to have some sympathy for his situation. I also thought it was kind of jerky the way he tried to turn Cory against Eve (though I'm sure much of this was Ken's doing).

4. If you were in Cory's shoes and had just found out all of this about the woman who raised you and who you believed to be your mother, how would you react? Would you forgive?
I have no idea. Reading the story, I kept wanting to shake Cory and tell her, "Don't forget the good times, and all she did for you," but I know that living it would be so much different than coming at it from an outsider's perspective. It really sucks to be lied to. And I'll bet that finding out your whole life has been a lie is pretty much the worst thing that could possibly happen. But I'm a forgiveness kind of girl, and I think in the end - yes, I would forgive. I know from my own life experiences that a mother is not just someone who gives birth to you - a mother is someone who cares for you, feels responsible for you, exists for you, and is there for you always. Eve was absolutely that for Cory, even if she made some mistakes along the way.

5. In your mind, how does this story end? Do they all live happily ever after? Does Cory go on having relationships with her old family and her new family?
There is just no happy ending here. I think eventually Cory and her sister might become close, but I don't think a close relationship will ever develop between her and Russel. They never had the bonding time of a child and father - that cannot be simulated years later. It just can't.

6. How do you think Cory has changed throughout the story? Have your feelings about her changed?
I think Cory's been through a lot and I have to try to understand that, but I never much liked her. When she was with Ken, I was so angry at her. And then the way she treated her family after she found out the truth - she should have at least excepted Dru and Jack from her rage. They had nothing to do with what happened. I think she's on her way to being who she is though...if that makes sense. Now that Ken is out of the picture and she has a true view of what her life really is.

Eight Questions

2010-09-10T11:23:00.001-05:00

I've been tagged by Stephanie at The Rest is Still Unwritten! I love being tagged, and I love her blog =)

1. What is your favorite day of the week? Oh, my. This is going to be a complicated answer. The best day of all time, of course, is Saturday. On Saturday one can, potentially (though it's not required), sleep in late and also stay up late. It's been my favorite all my life for that reason. It's the most free day! But I also adore Fridays, because even going to work has a giddy feeling to it. The weekend still lies before you, full of promise! (Also, Fridays and Saturday mornings are Farmer's Market days, and I ADORE the Farmer's Market.) NOW, I have to also consider that Sons of Anarchy is back on television, and that's a Tuesday night thing. =)

2. If you could move to another state where would you go? Hmm, another tough question. A part of me has always wanted to return to Texas, where I grew up. I absolutely loved living in Austin, and I think my husband would like it there too. But I have already been there, and if I wanted to move, wouldn't I want to go someplace new? I've always had a fantasy of living somewhere in New England - preferably Vermont, but New Hampshire or Maine would do, too. That being said, I absolutely love where I live and am thankful every day for the beautiful scenery and wonderful people with which I'm surrounded. Not to be cheesy or anything...

3. What was your favorite childhood movie? Girls Just Wanna Have Fun or The Labyrinth! Or, if we're going even younger, it would be The Last Unicorn. Please tell me you've seen it!

[image source: ~nessaholic at DeviantArt]

4. What is your least favorite season? Winter. Duh!

5. What is your favorite car out there right now? The Subaru Impreza WRX. I love Subies!

6. Dog or cat? I'm a dog person all the way :)

7. What store do you shop at that you don't generally tell people? Hmm, I don't really have an answer for this one! Probably the store of "G-mom," as she has been sending me box after box of new clothes lately and it's really embarrassing to tell people that your mom still buys your clothes!

8. When was the last time you washed your car? Uh, the last time I washed it, or the last time it was washed? Because if you mean the former... never. But my husband washed it a couple of weeks ago I think!

I don't really have a lot of bloggy friends to tag specifically, so if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!
1. What is the best book you've ever read?

2. Where was your favorite vacation, and why was it your favorite?

3. If you could pick a moment in your life and replay it once, which moment would it be?

4. What was your last frivolous purchase?

5. What's for dinner tonight? (The food-lover in me wants to know!)

6. What language would you learn, if you had to pick?

7. What's your favorite fall activity?

8. What cosmetic product could you not live without?

The Secret Life... Chapters 36-50

2010-09-09T07:32:00.003-05:00

Ree from the Pioneer Woman wrote a great blog post on blogging, wherein she touts the value of blogging often.

"If you water a plant once every two weeks, it will shrivel.

Unless that plant is a cactus, and then it would thrive."

So, my blog is either a cactus, or it is shriveling. I'm going to work on that. Because I don't want y'all going through the torture of wrangling with a cactus. (OK, is my inner Texan coming out or what?!?) Anyhoo, on with the show.

One of my fellow bookclubbers recently wrote that she would try to follow the reading schedule next time, and I'm so with her. It's difficult to really answer these questions in an insightful way when you already know how the book ends. But anyway, here's where we are now:

1. Have your feelings about Tim changed through out this last section of chapters?
I was both surprised and impressed that Tim never dropped CeeCee's name after he got busted. It made me think that his actions were motivated more out of trying to accomplish a bigger goal, even though I absolutely still think he went about it in just about the dumbest way possible.

2. Do you agree with Cory and her behavior as an adult and her life with Ken? Is she justified in cutting her mother and father out of her life?
I think Cory's acting like a brat. And I think Ken is a piece of you-know-what. I don't think she's justified in cutting her parents out of her life at all. I think she's trying to assume some independence, which is fine and natural, but she's counteracting that independence by becoming dependent on a man. A man who, of course, eats it up. No worthwhile man will want to be that in control of a woman. Ken specifically skeeved me out because he reminded me of past relationships I've been in where I was certainly being controlled and/or manipulated. I wanted Cory to be smarter than that.

3. At what point do you think Cory decided to spend less time with her mother?
This is another of those questions that's difficult to answer now that I've read the whole book (on a side note, I hope I don't cheat next time!), but probably sometime in her teenage years when she started questioning about her father and trying to assume independence. That's pretty much just a "teenager thing," but at the same time, Cory had reasons to take it a step further and keep it up on into college.

4. What do you think is Eve's biggest fear?
Losing Cory. Absolutely.

5. When the story about Genevieve's body came out, what would you have done if you were Eve? Just sat back and watched things unfold? Come forward? Would you tell Jack?
I don't know what I would have done. I don't know if I'd have had the guts to come forward or even to tell Jack, but I also know that the guilt would eat me alive. It wouldn't be long before I would either have to tell someone or do something rather drastic. I couldn't live with that guilt forever.

6. Do you think Eve should tell Jack and confess? Why?
Of course I do, but it's easy to take the moral high ground from my position on the outside. I think Jack deserves to know who he married. But I also think that keeping up a lie that long can be a hard thing to take back. And if you're a liar once, how many other times are you a liar? Your whole life has been a string of lies. And poor Jack - I know what it feels like to look back on a portion of your life and not know what was true and what was a carefully manipulated fiction.

Pro Pics Are In

2010-09-02T15:19:00.003-05:00

Photo by Cardens Photography; editing is mine - just for fun!

The rest of our pro pictures are finally in. Let the recaps begin! .....eventually. =)

The Secret Life... Chapters 21-35

2010-08-30T14:09:00.002-05:00

1. Do you think Tim is the one sending the money?
Yes, I think Tim's the one sending the money. Which just goes to reinforce my idea that he has a better handle on where SHE is than she does on where HE is. And I'm sure he planned it that way. Oh, but you just throw some more money at your guilt, Tim!

2. So far, there's been a lot of discussion on CeeCee/Eve and her choices. What choice(s) would you make differently from her?
I would make a LOT of choices differently. For one thing, I never would have gotten myself into this mess. But if I'd gotten myself this far, I definitely couldn't keep going. Guilt weighs on me... maybe the Catholic upbringing? But there's no way I could be reminded of my mistakes every day by looking at Cory. No way. I would have to turn myself in.

The more I think about it, the more I think she could have played herself into the hero if she'd tried it at the right time. Taken the baby to the police, told the whole story through teary-eyes, gave them the "caught up in the wrong crowd" spiel scenario. They probably would have taken pity on her. Community service, maybe.

3. What do you like about Jack? Are there things about him that you don't like?
I like that Jack seems to like CeeCee (er, Eve) but at this point, he also seems to perfect. This could be the writing, or this could be the character, but I just think of him as plastic. I mean, how lucky can one girl be? She makes the biggest mistake of her life, then ends up being able to go to college anyway (um, with a free babysitter? Yes, please), AND THEN, the first guy she meets is perfect and falls head over heels in love with her. LOLWUT?!?

Oh, and he just happens to be the perfect father. I had to roll my eyes just a little. Does Eve really deserve this?? In fact, I feel a little bad for Jack. Guilty that I didn't jump into the story and tell him, "She's not who you think she is, Jack! You might love her anyway, and that's ok, but she is NOT who you think she is."

4. What are the differences between CeeCee/Eve's relationship with Tim and Eve's relationship with Jack?
Eve's relationship with Jack seems way more 50/50 - not the one-sided relationship she had with Tim. She doesn't have to "do tricks" for Jack, she just has to be.

5. Do you think Eve is to blame for Cory's fears? What could she do, specifically, to help Cory feel like less of an outsider?
Probably. Cory is probably a mirror for the way Eve has felt about her all her life. The guilt that Eve feels and the leaps and bounds she's taken to keep her safe...

I don't know what she could do. I'm not a mother, and I don't understand the mother/child relationship like that. But she could probably stand to be a little less overbearing. That just pushes kids away.

6. Do you think Eve appropriately answered Cory's questions about her father? Do you think Cory will question her father more as she grows older?
There is no way to "appropriately" answer the questions about Cory's father. Except with the truth, which would ruin everyone's happy little damn-near-perfect life.

OF COURSE Cory will question more. I never met my real father either, so I know how it feels. Your whole life is a question mark. Every day, always. You can swallow it, you can move on with your life, you can be happy with the people you have, but you'll always wonder. And if the answers you get aren't sufficient, you will keep asking.

The Secret Life... Chapters 11-20

2010-08-23T11:16:00.003-05:00

1. Where do you think Tim and Marty are at this point in the story?

I think they're underground somewhere, courtesy of SCAPE. I always have the feeling that they're more likely to know where CeeCee is than vice versa, though. They have more "connections."

2. What were your thoughts as CeeCee was helping Genevieve deliver her baby?

I knew that Genevieve was going to die, and that made me so sad for her. Also, I felt a lot of anxiety for CeeCee. I know she must've been terrified, and I also felt this was the point that it must've come to her that she was in over her head.

3. After Genevieve died, what would you have done with her baby if you had been in CeeCee's shoes?

I really can't say what I would have done. I don't know. But I don't think I would have taken the baby. I think I would have tried harder to get the baby back to her father. Or left her at a hospital anonymously, perhaps.

4. Why do you think CeeCee/Eve is still holding onto hope that Tim will come for her?

Because she's still young. Because she still needs that love in her life. Maybe because she has misguided notions of being a family with the baby. And because [this is the big one, imho] she wants to believe this terrible thing she did was not in vain. Even though things went terribly wrong, CeeCee wants Tim to affirm and reassure her. She wants to know that what she did meant something to him.

5. How do you think Eve will establish her new identity in Virginia?

I don't feel I can answer this question because I finished the book already. =/

6. What do you think of CeeCee/Eve now after she has gone through with the kidnapping, the delivery of the baby, the escape, and the relocation?

First of all, I feel she's a lot stronger than I thought. Girl's got a pair, for sure. Second, I think she's effing nuts. This is not going to just go away. And here she is, stuck with a governor's baby and not even her real name to show for herself. I think - nay, know - she's got a good heart. I know she's doing the best she knows how. I also think some of her actions were decided based on how to keep Tim safe because of this teenage love she has for him. I'm just so nervous for her. To imagine a life of looking over your shoulder - a life of lies - is beyond me. I feel like she could have maintained some normalcy in her future if she'd given up before now... but that's not the choice she made :(

The Secret Life... Chapters 1-10

2010-08-16T13:47:00.005-05:00

I am reading Diane Chamberlain's The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes along with a blog book club called Book Beginnings and Bookends. Seriously, is that a genius idea or what? I've always wanted to get involved with a book club, but I can never find one in my area that works with my schedule. Plus, I'm kind of shy to meet up with people I don't know in real life and insert myself into a conversation. That's just not my thing, though sometimes I wish it were.

Anyway, I'm posting my response to chapters 1-10 here. If you're planning on reading this book, I'd suggest you skip this post instead of ruining the plot.

1. What was your first impression of Tim?

My first impression of Tim was ok, but it didn't take long for me to regard him with suspicion. Perhaps I'm cynical, but the age difference between him and CeeCee should have precluded the kind of attentive interest that he pays her. Further, I don't trust men who ply women with compliments, especially when he starts harping on her intelligence. Why does he care so much whether or not CeeCee is intelligent? (He doesn't; he just wants her to think she is.) The big about "you should be a social worker" reeks of controlling - the old "I know what's best for you" trick. Finally, the whole jumping into "love" thing - I distrust the idea of men falling so fast and being so open without an agenda. Turns out he had one all along (I knew it!). I'm sure he loved hearing about CeeCee's broken past, because that will make her more likely to seek approval from him and work hard to retain it. Oh, and also - never trust a man who gives you money. Not that soon in a relationship, not without strings attached. Sure, he kept it "secret," but he didn't try very hard to hide it. We all know he's the one who gave it to her.

2. If you were in CeeCee’s position, would you be willing to help your boyfriend in the way that she is willing to help Tim?

I would absolutely NOT. Doing the wrong thing for the right reason is still doing the wrong thing. (And this is just assuming that the only motivation is to help an innocent woman escape the death penalty... not taking into account CeeCee's other - and main - obvious motivation to keep Tim's interest in her.) Also, she doesn't even have the full story on this dude's sister. Personally, I wonder how much of that story is true at all. What kind of political or personal agenda is fueling this? I think CeeCee feels beholden to Tim because of the sex/"love" and the $5,000... just like he planned, if you ask me.

3. Why do you think CeeCee is so eager to please Tim?

Ohhh, let me count the ways!

She never knew her father. Hello, Daddy Issues - nice to meet you!
Her mother died, therefore... she has no one who truly loves her left in her life. She has no guidance. The letters her mother left give her a false sense of guidance/security.
A girl's first sexual partner almost always has a huge hold on a girl's emotions. ZOMG I'M IN LOVE. This leads to poor decision-making.
$5,000 - need I say more?

Here is this man in her life making her feel beautiful, smart, loved, and worth time... he just needs this one little thing from her. But he swears it's not contingent (which I think is all part of his plan).

4. Who do you think has it harder? Tim or CeeCee?

I think CeeCee, mostly because I'm still suspicious even of the story Tim tells about his sister (and the rest of his family?). Also, Tim is older, less naive, and presumably less likely to become a victim of his own infatuation - if said infatuation is even real. What does he really feel for CeeCee? Does he see her as anything more than a pawn in his game?

5. What character trait(s) about CeeCee stuck out the most to you in these first ten chapters?

Mostly, her naivete. She just seems like a young girl thrown into the adult world without guidance or stability, and she's yearning for someone to attach to.

6. Do you think CeeCee is as mature as she seems?

No. Much of maturity comes from experience; it's not her fault, but she doesn't have any. Anyone who would help a boy she's only been "seeing" for four weeks kidnap a governor's wife is absolutely missing part of the picture.

It's not too late if you want to read along - visit Book Beginnings and Bookends and get the details!

Whoops.

2010-08-13T10:35:00.004-05:00

I've done something terrible. I've fallen in love.

Liberty of London for Target picture frames. THE COLORS!!! I die.

See them all here.

Images from Target.com

Sting Like a Bee*

2010-08-12T12:05:00.006-05:00

Earlier this week I hinted that my husband had gotten a new tattoo. Here is a better picture.

It's him, in silhouette, with our dog Tara. It's sort of her trademark to give hugs like that - she'll lean back on her haunches and lift her front paws until you crouch down with her. Then she'll just stare into your eyes and let you love her up. She's such a people-dog.

My husband and his dog (our dog, but he had her before I ever knew him) have this crazy, unshakable bond. He is absolutely smitten with her.

***

Yesterday as I was making my hour-long commute home from work, I called my friend A just to chat, and she told me about an acquaintance of her husband.

This acquaintance, a woman, was taking her husband off life support that day - not in the way that, "Oh, he can breathe on his own now," but in the, "He's not getting any better, and this is only causing more suffering" way.

He was bitten by a spider two weeks ago, and now he's gone.

I was horrified - who loses their husband to a spider bite? They were "our age," A told me. I went home and told my husband about it, and we just sat gaping at each other, thinking of how totally in pieces we would be if one of us lost the other.

***

Tara gave us a big scare last night.

The mister and I were sitting out on the back patio just talking - earlier in the day I'd begged him for some quality time, just us. So there we were, watching the dogs play in the yard.

All of a sudden, we see Tara spin around, duck her tail and ears, and scamper back to the patio limping on one foot. She'd apparently been stung by a bee or a wasp - who knows, we didn't see it.

We didn't think much of it - she has a tendency to try to catch flying things, and sometimes said flying things bite back. She'd been stung before. But somehow this time was different.

About ten minutes later, she started throwing up bile in the yard, and things went downhill fast. She was conscious but about 70 percent non-responsive. My husband called the vet, and we coaxed her into the car to rush her there.

She was in anaphylactic shock. We were terrified.

The vet had her on the table, and you should have seen her. She had no response to the light he shined in her eyes. Her gums were completely white.

They took her to the back to pump her full of epinephrine, Benadryl and fluids (and probably other stuff; look, I have no idea. I can't believe I didn't pass out). We sat in the waiting room frozen and shaking.

The vet eventually came back out and told us she was looking better, "but she was really in trouble back there." Seeing her finally come out of the back room, pulling on her leash as usual, just wanting to go the hell home, was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen.

It wasn't until we got home that we fell into each others' arms and finally took deep breaths.

Here's Tara, back in action after the vet visit, but still sporting the bandage over where they pumped the fluids in.

***

I'm so thankful Tara is still here with us. I'm so thankful for my levelheaded husband. I'm so thankful for that vet (who called my husband this morning to check on T). Life can be so fragile. Old age, car crashes, bee stings, spider bites... how do we make sense of it all, but to try to love those around us just a little bit longer and a little bit harder?

*Don't cliches make all titles better? I think so. ;)

My Weekend in Pictures

2010-08-09T14:14:00.007-05:00

I took my work-issued DSLR home with me over the weekend to practice with it, as I'm trying to become a better photographer. Here are a couple of shots I got that I absolutely LOVE.

I adore this picture of my husband. I was getting shots of his new tattoo to send to the artist, and I snuck this one in on him.

My most willing subject is, of course, my loyal mutt, Sage. I love this one of her; it really captures one of her most common facial expressions, one of her favorite Kong toys, and some really cool things are happening with the lighting as well. (The tone, however, is all 'Shopped.)

Oh, and y'all? I just want to mention that I am HIGHLY amateur. I haven't taken any classes. I don't think I'm a "photographer." I'm just really trying to learn, both for my career and as a hobby. So please bear with me!

Recap: Friday (Part 1)

2010-08-06T12:56:00.000-05:00

The Friday before the wedding, we had a hugely full schedule that started with matron-of-honor C, my mom, and me getting mani-pedis. This was the last relaxing part of my day! After we pampered our hands and feet, we met BM A and her husband at the Bullfrog, a local microbrewery that makes DELICIOUS burgers, for a quick lunch. It was the first time seeing them since they arrived in Pennsylvania, so that made it all the more special.

Quick story about their hotel snafu - they flew into Harrisburg to save some money, but their flight wasn't due to arrive until around 11 o'clock at night. They sucked it up and drove into town to get to their hotel. However, when they arrive to check in, the front desk attendant tells them that since they weren't there by midnight, they were considered no-shows and their room was sold to someone else. They were furious and I felt so terrible for them, but they ended up finding a room in another hotel for the night (and it just so happened to be a jacuzzi suite) so I don't think they'll suffer any long-range effects ;)

It was at lunch, though, that my stress also started to set in. I kept my To Do list by my plate throughout the whole meal, and kept adding things to it - most of which didn't get done in the end (and didn't matter).

After lunch, we all headed out to the venue to start setting things up. When we arrived, we bought a couple bottles of wine and things got crazy! We set out napkins, set up the table numbers and escort cards, and I mostly walked around stressing. My dear husband ended up coming out to meet us and help.

BM A and I out on the deck of our venue.

BM A and I again, talking through something in the exact spot where I'd be getting married the next day!

Matron-of-honor C, BM A and I

The biggest stressor of the set-up was that my rented chairs were late. Chairs were to be set up outside on the deck for the ceremony and inside at all the tables for the reception. At the time, the venue had set up their own chairs (which were ugly, no 'fense), and I still didn't have my own chairs! They still hadn't arrived by the time we left, but we couldn't stay any longer because we had a rehearsal to get to.

Exactly.

2010-08-05T12:27:00.003-05:00

I think dating/deciding to marry is something like deciding to buy a house and make it your home. You figure out what’s available in your area, what works for your lifestyle, and what “must-haves” you want, and then you go looking. (note: This is, of course, a somewhat imperfect analogy as some of us aren’t “looking” when the right person comes around. I certainly wasn’t. But bear with me…) But the thing is… there’s not a Platonic conceit of “your house” that you just have to locate in reality. The truth of the matter is that you will see many houses, and most of them will have some aspect of what you want. One will have the gorgeous bay windows and gleaming hardwood floors. Another will have the giant kitchen with the granite countertops. A third will have a turret and built-in shelves. These are all great houses. You can see yourself living in all of them. But the day comes when you decide that one house is the one you’re going to buy. You move in. You clean. You do a bit of painting. You learn to live with the slight incline in the floors and to jump the creaky step in the staircase. You have dinner parties that last until 2am in this house. You host holidays in this house. You bring your babies back to this house. You could’ve had any of the houses you looked at, all those years ago. But you chose this one and it’s now the only home you can imagine having.

-- Sharon, of Bride Sans Tulle, via APW
(Seriously now, go read the whole post.)

#28 - RAISE!

2010-07-21T12:01:00.005-05:00

~~#28 - Get a promotion, a raise, or find a new job.~~

Done and done. Granted, it's really nothing more than a cost-of-living raise, but I got one and it was on my list so I'm crossing it off! This is really cool, because it's my first list item that's totally complete. I have a lot of others in progress, but this one is DONE.

~ ~ ~

Speaking of "progress"....

#21 - Read 100 books.
2/100_The Husband, Dean Koontz (Bantam, 2006)

This was a pretty decent and very quick read. I got into the story, not gonna lie, but it was no literary masterpiece, and I wouldn't necessarily recommend it to anyone unless you're just looking for a quick beach or airplane read and you like Dean Koontz.

~ ~ ~

In other news, I'm looking to get the fabled "post-wedding chop" this Friday. Here are some styles that I like:

[source - source - source]

I'm thinking the third one might be a tad bit too "hipster" for me, but I love the texture, and I'm looking to do something different than I've ever had before. My hair is soooo long right now and it's rather unhealthy in its current state. I'll definitely post a picture once I've taken the plunge and gotten the chop!

Recap: Pregaming

2010-07-16T07:00:00.001-05:00

The Wednesday and Thursday before our wedding was a big deal, because that's when all my family and friends were coming into town. That's when the actual "Wedding Weekend" began. Like a pivotal turning point, not to be dramatic... ;)

My matron of honor and best friend since 4th grade flew in late Wednesday afternoon. My mom and I picked her up at the airport and took her to dinner at one of my favorite spots, a dive bar that has some really amazing chef kidnapped and locked out back, cooking their food. Seriously, I know this is a long shot, but if you ever pass through Lamar, PA, eat at Browns Hill Tavern.

Anyway, then we all went back to my house where we met up with the mister. We stocked up on some beer, got comfy on the back patio, and talked until midnight.

My matron-of-honor C and I out at the cabin where my familystayed.

Thursday, I had a ton of errands to run - including purchasing gift bags for the bridal party gifts I had yet to put together! Luckily I didn't have too much to do, though. Because around mid-afternoon, C, my mom, and I (and my cousin, whom I hadn't seen in several years) all piled into mom's car to pick up the rest of my family at the airport.

Now this is when there was an actual, dramatic turning point. We had two points of potential conflict: my best friend C and my grandmother hadn't spoken in over ten years. While they used to be very close, there was a falling out after C's and my first year of high school. No one really remembers what it was about, but suffice it to say that my grandmother was not C's biggest fan.

Also, my cousin hadn't spoken to my uncle - his father - in at least two years (some conflicting stories report up to three). There was also a falling-out there but the story is very long and kind of private - suffice IT to say that my cousin went through some issues and hadn't really talked to the family in a while.

That's my cousin on the left, my uncle in the middle, and my g-father on the right.

Y'all. My g-mom went straight up to C and hugged her. My cousin and my uncle spent the whole night talking and catching up. My family - if you knew my family, you'd know why this is so big to me - MY family let bygones be bygones, dropped old grudges, let sleeping dogs lie, and any other similar cliche you can think of.

My whole family, except my uncle who was taking the picture.

It was the perfect start to my weekend.

#48 - July Recipe: Spaghetti with Zucchini and Yellow Squash

2010-07-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

#48: Try one new recipe each month.

1/30_Spaghetti with Zucchini and Yellow Squash

As a wedding gift, my matron-of-honor C gave me a binder full of recipes she'd been collecting for me over the past year. Aside from being one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received, it's also proving to be one of the most functional. The other day, before I went grocery shopping, I flipped through the binder to find a new recipe to try out.

Spaghetti with Zucchini and Yellow Squash

1 box whole wheat spaghetti (I used thin spaghetti, and if you're using whole wheat, I suggest it)
1/3 cup EVOO
1 zucchini
1 yellow squash
1 small white onion
Garlic powder (OK, so the original recipe called for fresh garlic. I was out. So sue me.)
Grape tomatoes, halved (I don't know how many... how many do you want to use? That many.)
A handful of roughly chopped, fresh basil
1 cup Parmesan cheese

Dice up your onion, zucchini, and squash. Halve your grape tomatoes. Start your spaghetti pot to boiling. Throw the EVOO into a large skillet and let it heat up on medium heat. Once it's hot, throw in the onions. Let them saute until soft... about six minutes. Then throw in the garlic powder (yes, here's where you'd put the garlic in, if you want to be an overachiever). Once you've got the onion and garlic melded together, toss in the zucchini and squash. At the very last minute, just when you think everything is pretty much ready to go, throw in your tomatoes and basil.

Is your pasta done cooking yet? When it is, drain it and set it aside. When your skillet veggies are done too, mix it into the pasta, then add the Parmesan cheese. Both my husband and I added a lot more Parmesan once we made our own plates, but the amount called for in the recipe is a good start.

My husband and I both really liked this. It was healthy without being soooo healthy (hello, cheesy!) but was also really tasty. It was also a nice switcheroo from the old Pasta & Prego Standby.

#21 - Book 1: The Lonely Polygamist

2010-07-14T16:07:00.000-05:00

#21: Read 100 Books

1/100_The Lonely Polygamist, Brady Udall (Norton, 2010)

Polygamist father Golden Richards gets caught up with a bad crowd of people when he starts contracting work on a legal brothel in Nevada, then begins a string of negative events by lying to his four wives about said work. The other storylines focus on child Rusty, who is battling the wild hormones of puberty and the disdain of his whole family, and the fourth wife, Trish, whose inner battles in some way mirror those of her husband Golden's.

After a lot of trudging, I am finally finished with this book. While something about it drew me in, it was a hard one to stick with. There was so much going on - mimicking, perhaps, the cacophony of a polygamist family's household - that I found it hard to get so into one of the many storylines that I felt emotionally invested. It just seemed that the whole story was, "And then..." And THEN..." "AND THENNNN!!!" There were too many sub-stories and subplots, and while they were all connected, it was just too much for one cohesive novel. Udall even throws in some bits and pieces about nuclear testing in the region, drawn from fact, and how said testing affected some of the characters - and that part was interesting but to me it didn't really fit well into the rest of the story.

Not knowing much about polygamy, I'm not sure how realistic this darkly comedic story is, but it feels positively absurd. I couldn't fully invest in it because I couldn't fully believe it. Also, I absolutely despised the resolution. Perhaps it's just the place I come from, but I didn't believe the story was wrapped up in a realistic way, or one that satisfied me.

All in all, I didn't hate the book, but I also didn't love it. I would never read it again. And as far as recommending it, I don't think I would - but if my description sounds interesting, by all means, try it out!

101 in 1,001

2010-07-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

I have been wanting to do a 101 in 1,001 list for a long time now but only recently created this one because I wanted to wait until after the wedding. (If you're not familiar with 101 in 1,001, catch up here.)

In some senses, my 101 things are part to-do list, part goals-for-the-future. In fact, I had a really hard time coming up with 101 things I wanted to do! Typically I feel pretty good about just getting my butt to work, then coming home after a long day and having a glass of wine in front of the boob tube (my mom used to call it that, and it cracks me up).

But in an effort not to get "stale" after my Big Event was over, I wanted to give myself a reason to step out of my comfort zone a time or a hundred. If you want to check out my list, click the 101 in 1,001 tab on the top of my page.

Do you have a list? Do we have any items in common? Do you want to take a yoga class together??? =P

PS: I swear I'll get to wedding recaps soon. I swear it, and that makes it serious business.

From the Other Side

2010-07-02T10:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm married. Now, more time for blogging!

I have so, so much to say about our wedding day. We. Had. A. BLAST! It was a day of deep emotion, lots of hugs, a ton of laughter, and dancing until we had blisters. (I still have blisters, in fact.) It was also a weekend of reunions, redemptions, and new & renewed friendships.

I will write about it all, because I have to. I need to get the memories on paper (er, screen). I need to analyze them with words, because that's just how I am. And I need to show y'all the pictures!! I mean, c'mon!

Expect to hear from me =)

Peonies and Egg Salad

2010-06-04T12:10:00.001-05:00

For lunch today, I had an egg salad sandwich. This is relevant because I make the best egg salad of anyone in the whole world, including Canada. For real dudes, my egg salad will throw down with your egg salad anytime, any place.

More about that after I tell you all about the walk that made my day. I finished my lunch quickly and still had 20 minutes, so I decided to walk up to the public library and return the books. It's a gorgeous day out - warm but not oppressively so - and I needed to get out of my office anyway.

I love the town that I work in. It's a college town (and not much else), and it has all these cute little shops and restaurants, including a new cupcake boutique that I tried out a couple weeks ago for Mr. Gorgeous' birthday. So even though I didn't have time to stop in anywhere, I still love walking past all the cool places that are literally right outside my office window.

I lied, though - I did stop somewhere! I hit up the Starbucks for a shaken iced tea & lemonade. And they had a vase full of fresh peonies - most likely from the Farmers Market going on down the street - sitting on the counter. It MADE my day! I love seeing fresh flowers. And I fully intend to pick up a bunch of peonies when I stop by the Farmers Market on my way out of town after work. Peonies, and some strawberries!

So anyway, I'm going to share with you the secret of my awesome, amazing egg salad, which isn't really a secret (or mine) at all as I stole it from the wonderful Heidi at 101 Cookbooks. My recipe here looks nothing like hers, but she gets all the credit because I started with hers, and it was amazing. I just improvise a little bit, mostly because I'm lazy at the grocery store.

Ingredients:
6 Eggs
Mayonnaise
Celery and/or Onion
Mustard
Curry Powder (this is my secret ingredient that shocks all who love my egg salad - all one of them)

First of all, you have to make the perfect hardboiled egg, which I learned from her recipe. Put 6 eggs in a pan, and cover with cold water. Bring to a gentle boil, then cover and take the pan off the heat. Leave them in their water for exactly 7 minutes. 7 is the magic number - dudes, Heidi knows what she's talking about. Then when the 7 minutes are up, put them in an ice bath to stop the cooking.

So peel your eggs and put them in a bowl, and mash them up just a little bit. This is another of Heidi's secrets - keep the eggs chunky, because it's better that way and tastes less like truck stop goop. Heidi also taught me (through her recipe only, I realize it might sound like we know each other, but we don't - I just take her egg salad recipe as the Word of God) to use less mayo than you think you need. She suggests 2 tablespoons; I just put it in until it starts to hold together. Probably a little more.

Then add some mustard. Because I love mustard. This is my own addition. If you don't dig mustard, skip this step. But if you do, man oh man. Add the mustard.

So now you have your base. Now add some finely chopped celery. I typically will not buy celery at the store because the only time I ever use it is in this recipe. This time I replaced with onion. Still good, and adds the crunch, but not as good as celery. If I'm feeling extra awesome, I use both. But add to taste - and to crunch. Heidi suggests adding chives as well; this sounds amazing, but I'm not buying chives just for egg salad.

And now the curry powder. Don't be afraid. Shake 'er in. Keep tasting though, to make sure you don't add too much. We're not making Indian food, we're making egg salad.

At this point you're done, but y'all - do me one more favor. Lightly toast your bread. Please, please, please. It's more supportive that way - like a good bra from You Know Where. Oh, and if this recipe makes more than 3 sandwiches for you, YOU ARE NOT PACKING THEM FULL ENOUGH! =)

Wanna see Heidi's recipe? Click me!

"I Don't Buy It"

2010-05-19T14:28:00.000-05:00

I came across this article today in the Modern Love section of the New York Times. It is old, but never mind that.

Those Aren't Fighting Words, Dear

The writer, who wrote a book about her experience, talks about how she dealt with a difficult - almost catastrophic - time in her marriage. Her approach is, well, less than conventional.

After the first read, I loved it. I thought she was a profound genius who had truly attained enlightenment. After reading the comments to see some dissenting opinions, I wasn't so sure anymore.

Humor me, and give it a read (it's quick). What do you think?

On Material Possessions

2010-05-19T10:05:00.000-05:00

Just a little tidbit from an amazing book I just finished earlier this week.

Once I was the sort of person who invests objects with sentimental value. Now I no longer have those objects, but I have the sentiments yet.

Many times in our travels I have lost everything but the clothes I was wearing and Lizbeth. The things I find in Dumpsters, the love letters and rag dolls of so many lives, remind me of this lesson. Now I hardly pick up a thing without envisioning the time I will cast it aside. This I think is a healthy state of mind. Almost everything I have now has already been cast out at least once, proving that what I own is valueless to someone.

Anyway, I find my desire to grab for the gaudy bauble has been largely sated. I think this is an attitude I share with the very wealthy - we both know there is plenty more where what we have came from. Between us are the rat-race millions who nightly scavenge the cable channels looking for they know not what.

I am sorry for them.

From Travels with Lizbeth: Three Years on the Road and on the Streets, by Lars Eighner

I absolutely adored this book, Eighner's memoir of the years he and his dog Lizbeth were homeless in Austin and Los Angeles. It gave me a much-needed fresh perspective on the condition of homelessness, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for a good read.

One Wedding Down

2010-04-28T08:42:00.000-05:00

Mr. Gorgeous and I returned on Sunday night from an event-filled weekend in Houston, Texas for my best friend's wedding. I was the maid of honor; it was my first time ever to be in a wedding.

We stayed at the J.W. Marriott on Westheimer, right across from the infamous Houston Galleria mall.

I had hoped to make it out to that awesome 5th floor pool, but we didn't have time. Photo from the JW Marriott website.

Check out the view from our room!

I didn't take this picture, but it was exactly what we saw from one of our windows. Image from the JW Marriott website.

We arrived in Houston on Thursday night, and it was the only time we had to ourselves the whole weekend; it was jam-packed with events I had to be at! From mani-pedis, luncheons, dinners, and beautifications, I was effing exhausted by the time the reception was over.

The wedding was beautiful though, and although there were a few snags here and there, everyone had a wonderful time and the bride is thrilled to be married to the love of her life.

Just a couple of photos from the bride's camera:

That's me on the far right!

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. B!

The Bitter & the ... Bitterer

2010-04-09T15:22:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh. Life is not always sweet. Things have been kind of crazy in my neck of the woods lately, and in that hard, heavy attachment atop my neck. I've been in a bit of a rut, or a funk, or something.

It all started last week when the guys came to start re-doing our bathroom. The bathroom renovation was long-needed and out of our control since, you know, we rent. But the bathroom renovation was finally here and as lucky as I felt to be getting all new flooring and fixtures, it is a pain in the ass to brush your teeth in the kitchen sink (next to last night's dirty dishes - EW!) and drive to Mom's to shower. Or not shower, and spend all day going, "Did she just make that face because I stink? WHAT?!? My bathroom is undergoing some WORK, OK?"

And it wasn't just the bathroom renovation, but the unexpected side effects like the workers leaving their tools, their Shop-Vac, and at one point even the old toilet (Oh lord how I wish I were kidding) in the one spare bedroom without any furniture in it - which just so happens to function as my walk-in closet. So as I was stepping over dust, tools and toilets to get to my daily outfits and double-helpings of deodorant, my state of mind was plummeting.

I'm happy to say the bathroom is complete now (pictures maybe, after we re-paint a couple of the walls this weekend?) but somewhere in the mess Mr. Gorgeous and I got a little bit off-kilter. I was being bitchy, he got distant, and now we're just in one of those places where we function as separate people under the same roof without really connecting. Have you ever been there?

Some bloggers* only write about the good stuff. I can't lie to y'all like that. (Oh, and I have kept myself anony-moose from nearly everyone who knows me IRL, so I have the luxury of being able to say what I want.) This week has been a load of horse shit, things with Mr. G and I are shitty right now, and frankly, I just want to crawl up in a corner and cry.

BUT I won't!

There is a line from Weddingbee's Mrs. Meatball's vows that reads, "I vow to trust in your love and put apology and forgiveness above ego." This is where I and we fail as a couple. Not all the time, but enough to cause problems. I allow my pride to get in the way of when I need to come to him with an, "I'm sorry, let's talk this out." And then when he gets (understandably) distant, I get insecure about our relationship. But I'm so paranoid about being perceived as a needy little girl, that I don't know how to ask for the reassurance I need.

How will I ever get what I need if I can't even ask for it?

Needless to say, Mr. G and I have some major reconnecting to do this weekend.

*Not that I consider myself a "blogger." I am a person who just so happens to write words onto a blog every now and then. Just so we're clear on that...

This Subject is Underrated

2010-03-25T13:34:00.000-05:00

I am at a place in my life that I really quite like. I have a job that I don't hate, and it more than pays the bills. I have two fun, healthy dogs that make me smile a million times a day. And I have a fiance with whom I have a beautiful, comfortable, and stable relationship.

The way Mr. GS makes me feel is indescribable. Not in that way that you read about in fairy tales or see in chick flicks, but in a much more subdued, rational way. I know that he'll always be there for me. I know that he supports me infinitely. And I know that he will always be my voice of reason, as he is the most pragmatic person I know. I'm at that point in our relationship where he just makes me melt, like I'm falling in love with him all over again.

We have nothing but possibilities ahead of us. The possibilities of new and better jobs. The possibility of owning our own home. Making new friends. Having children. Crafting a family. Anniversaries, vacations... You know, the whole "American Dream" bit.

The other day as I was driving to work, I got to thinking about our first date. I remembered walking into the bar, fifteen minutes late. He was standing at the jukebox. "You strutted in like you owned the place," he says to me now.

And right there in the car, I just started bawling. I couldn't believe we'd really gotten from there to here. Through my drinking problem; my propensity to be too wild, too often. Through my not having a job that whole first summer we dated (which just exacerbated that wild nature). Through a year of living three hours away and commuting in on the weekends. And through that first year of living together, getting used to each other's quirks and habits, and testing our boundaries. When I think about it, I can't even believe I am the same person.

Last night, we were sitting on the couch together as he was forcing me to listen to the new music he'd uploaded on his iPod. The songs had a sad tone about them, and I thought to myself, "I can't relate to this kind of music anymore. I'm just not at that place in my life - I'm too happy. I have the world at my fingertips."

Then I realized I was being short-sighted. Of course I feel that way now. I'm engaged to the love of my life. We're planning our wedding. We have nothing but possibilities ahead of us. But every marriage - and every life - has problems. We will not be exempt from the strain of everyday life. I am, indeed, going to feel that way again in my life - that way that sad songs make me feel. And the likelihood of him being the one to make me feel that way is 99.9%.

But I know I have to trust him beyond that. I have to trust that, even though he'll hurt me (and I'm sure I'll hurt him too), he'll still love me. We'll get through it. We'll work through it, because that's the promise that we made - are making - to each other. I have to trust that no matter what challenges we face, at the end of the day - and at the end of our lives - we'll still be a team. Not because it was always easy. Because we promised to be.

2010-03-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Starbucks,

I just visited you for a 2 o'clock pick-me-up (skinny vanilla latte) and *almost* could not resist buying a red velvet cupcake. I mean, seriously? When did y'all start putting cupcakes in that divine glass case of yours? And who can resist a cupcake at 2 o'clock in the afternoon after eating oatmeal, a banana, and a Healthy Choice meal?

Well, I'll tell you who: Me.

I should be proud of myself, but instead, I'm sitting in my office drinking my disappointing skinny latte and dreaming of that damned cupcake.

With just a little bitterness,
Vee

---

You know, there is a whole lot of subtext out there in the wedding world that indicates to us the things that we are supposed to do to prepare for our weddings and our marriages. It seems like there is a lot of pressure and expectation to "lose weight for the big day," or to "tone those problem areas before you say I do!" Apparently, I am a sheep. I have fallen prey. I didn't buy that cupcake at Starbucks today because I'm on the "wedding diet."

But here's the thing that kills me. I don't need to lose weight. I'm not unhappy with my body! So why am I letting all those voices out there tell me that I have to trim down and tone up just so that no one will call me fat on my wedding day?

I should have just bought the f***ing cupcake.

Love of my Life

2010-03-02T16:12:00.000-05:00

On Leap Day, two years ago, I opened my heart and my home to the love of my life.

Sage Felon,

Two years ago, at age (approximately) 1 1/2, you came with me to your furever home. Your ribs were showing, you were so thin, and you practically inhaled your food like it was the last chance you'd have. You didn't know quite what to make of me. It took us a little bit of time to bond, but I think you were optimistic from that first night, since I let you sleep in bed with me. (It was a lot softer than the floor at the kennel, wasn't it?) We were living in Lancaster at the time though, and it was just the two of us, so we really had a chance to get to know each other.

I remember the first time I took you to meet your Daddy and your new big sister, Tara. She can be overbearing, and you were so scared you number-two'd on the rug right inside the door. I. Was. Mortified! The whole first weekend with the two of you was terrible. Tara wanted to let you know she was dominant, and you were ok with that, but you HATE to be mounted by other females! Daddy had to stand over you 24/7 and we couldn't even sleep in the same bed.You weren't sure what to make of that Daddy guy either - you stuck by Mom like glue!

Several months of weekend visits later, you and Tara were the best of friends. And you slowly came around to Daddy, too. I catch you snuggling with both of them... frequently! Now that we all live in the same house (for a year and a half, now!) we are quite the little family. You are certainly the "little sister" of the bunch - rambunctious, a little bit pushy, but always unconditionally loving.

I have a magnet on my fridge in the shape of a paw-print that says, "Who Rescued Who?" I think in the 322, we all know the answer to that ;) Thank you for being you, Sagie. Your Daddy and I love you to death (and Tara too!).

I Have an Obsession With Magazines

2010-02-22T13:08:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's right. Even in this digital age, I find myself obsessed with flipping through magazines. I really like subscribing, because they're way cheaper that way, and once a month I come home to a brand new magazine to flip through! But there's always a but, right? I can't tell you how many issues of Cooking Light and Everyday with Rachel Ray that I have flipped through, put down, and promptly forgotten - without making any of the recipes. This, according to the (albeit very, very small) frugal voice in my head, is a waste of money.

So it was decided: from every magazine I get in the mail now, I have to make AT LEAST one new recipe. There are bound to be some success stories, right?

Right. The other night, I made one of the recipes - for a second time - and Mr. Gorgeous declared it the Best Thing I've Made in 2010. He absolutely loves it.

Salmon Croquettes

Ingredients
1/4 cup organic canola mayonnaise (such as Spectrum), divided
4 teaspoons fresh lemon juice, divided
2 1/2 teaspoons Dijon mustard, divided
1/4 cup finely chopped green onions
2 tablespoons minced red bell pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
2 (6-ounce) packages skinless, boneless pink salmon
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1 teaspoon finely chopped capers
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1/8 teaspoon salt

Preparation
1. Combine 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, 1 tablespoon juice, 1 1/2 teaspoons mustard, and next 7 ingredients (through egg), stirring well. Add panko; toss. Shape mixture into 8 (3-inch) patties.
2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add patties; cook 5 minutes on each side or until browned.
3. Combine remaining mayonnaise, juice, and mustard with parsley, capers, garlic, and salt, stirring well.

As far as my substitutions, I just used regular mayonnaise and we're all still here to tell the tale. I also used regular breadcrumbs instead of panko. I left out the capers. (I do not buy things for recipes that I'll likely only use once. Period!)

I'm at a loss for my weekly menu. Have any of you eating anything fabulous lately that you'd like to suggest for me to cook? =)

Snow Tubing

2010-02-19T09:12:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day Recap

2010-02-17T15:30:00.000-05:00

We are typically not a couple who celebrates Valentine's Day, as he hates the idea of a Hallmark Holiday. It has been the source of several... shall I say... disagreements for us. So, imagine my surprise when this year's Valentine's Day was ahhhhmazing!

First, I came home to a dozen roses on the dining room table. I melted!! This is only the second time he's ever bought me flowers!

Us, before we went to dinner on Friday night (to avoid the crowds). I had my glasses on because my contacts were bugging me, but he actually loves me in my glasses, so I told him it was an extra special treat for him. ;)

The whole family did a whole lot of cuddlebugging and canoodling!

And on Sunday, I made us this BBQ pork chops in the crock pot, as well as this phenomenal banana bread, recipe courtesy of Culinary in the Desert!

Seriously, if you have a love for banana bread (which we totally do), you've got to try this. The topping makes it extra special. But watch out! I used my regular loaf pan, which I think is smaller than the one called for in the recipe. I did get some spillage, and I had to bake it longer than expected. But it was so worth it. We're still eating this, and it's still as moist and delightful as it was the first day.

Stuff I Love Right Now

2010-02-05T10:41:00.000-05:00

So, short post today, but Happy Friday all! Just wanted to suggest a couple of products that I'm loving right now, not because I've been bribed in any way, but just because I love when I find stuff that actually works!

Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint in Plum Mint [img]

I have the worst chapped lips of anyone I know - a problem which is exacerbated by the fact that I'm a nervous chewer and I bite them all.the.time. So, I've tried just about every chap-stick, lip gloss, lip repair treatment, and moisturizing lipstick known to man.* I love the idea of tinted lip stuff because, the way my lips are (and the fact that I'm constantly drinking something) makes it pretty pointless and stupid for me to wear lipstick. I will just chew it off within ten minutes of putting it on. (Plus it makes me look like a 12-year-old hooker wearing momma's high heels.)

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this Bigelow lip tint in Bath & Body Works and picked it up on a whim. (I can be an impulsive shopper, especially when it comes to beauty/spa/etc. products.) As is typical for the fruits of an impulse buy, it sat on my kitchen table for like a whole week before I bothered to try it, but I am so glad I did before I lost it! It feels wonderful, it's so minty-fresh, it's NOT STICKY (this is huge for me), and its tint is very subtle (I'm looking at you, so-not-subtle Burt's Bees tint). Love it, love it, love it.

Frizz-Ease Straight Fixation Smoothing Creme [img]

OK, so as if having chapped lips wasn't enough, I also have frizzy hair. But this isn't about me, it's about stuff. Unlike the lip stuff, this wasn't an impulse buy. I went to Dreaded Wal Mart with the purpose of finding something that would smooth my fly-aways.

This stuff works. I had my doubts, but I notice a huge difference when I use it. It smooths everything out even when I use the blow dryer, which usually is what makes my hair puff up like a pissed off cat. Finding it gives me new faith in drugstore-products, too, because when it comes to hair, I'm typically a salon-/Sephora-snob, and I figure if I can afford it then it probably won't work.

Tried anything new I should know about lately?

*This is a gross exaggeration and should not be taken seriously.

I'm... Happy for You?

2010-02-02T16:11:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend, my cousin got engaged. Great, right? Well... I don't know. She's only been with her ~~boyfriend~~ fiance for one year - he proposed on their first "anniversary." Oh, and she's only eighteen. EIGHTEEN! The kind of 18 where, if she wouldn't have graduated from high school a year early (following in my footsteps), she would still be in high school!

Mr. Gorgeous woke me up at around 4:30 a.m. Saturday night/Sunday morning to tell me (he caught wind of the news on Facebook) and after that I couldn't go back to sleep. I had such a whirlwind of emotions about the whole thing. Which is kind of silly, because said cousin "J" and I aren't even close - and never really have been.

I spent the whole next day analyzing why I felt the way I did about it. Could it be that I was jealous that it seemed so easy for her to just get engaged, when I had to wait until my mid-twenties (I mean really, I'm practically a spinster!) to find a man who was worth my while and who wanted to propose to me? Could it be that I thought her engagement would somehow steal the thunder from my upcoming wedding?

Whether or not there is some kind of weird, selfish, only-child jealousy going on, I can objectively say that I don't think much of teenagers getting married - even those who are technically "adults." I know that a lot of people get married rather young - and for some of them it even works out - but in my family, it is frowned upon. Heavily. It just seems so much to me like it was too rushed, like they played house for eight months (she moved in with him right after she graduated high school*) and decided, "This is like OMGforever!"

I just think that J is promising away some of the most formative years of the rest of her life. When I think about how much I changed from 18 to 22 to 26, it's just phenomenal. And she, at 18, thinks that she can promise the rest of her very long life to this 21-year-old kid.

And you know what else? It kind of pisses me off that my future sister-in-law isn't legally allowed to marry her girlfriend of seven years, but my 18-year-old cousin gets to decide after one year with a guy that she'd like to marry him... and no one can stop her. It's an insult to the institution of marriage. Or, I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting.

What do you think?

*Just a selfish FYI here, she moved in with him when she moved to Lubbock to attend Texas Tech, which her mother (my aunt) cleaned our her retirement in order to afford. After her fall semester, though, she missed her hometown so much that she moved back - ~~boyfriend~~ fiance in tow - into her mother's house... where they're currently living. Ugh.

Award!

2010-01-26T12:48:00.000-05:00

I'm so thrilled - Mrs in Training passed this blog award on to me. This pretty lady is awesome - she's always posting drool-worthy recipes and she also fosters dogs. Is there any better way to get me hooked? If you don't already follow her, you should.

The rules of this award are as follows:

1. To accept the award, you must post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted you the award, and a link to their blog.
2. Pass the award on to approximately 15 other blogs that you recently discovered, and think are great!
3. Contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Here is the list of whom I'm passing on to:
1. A & W
2. Countdown to 8/14
3. E TELLS TALES
4. Running from the Law
5. SunnySide
6. The Misadventures of Pug(s) and Bugg
7. The Office Bride
8. The Relentless Bride
9. My Wildlife's Words
10. Wifey Wiferson

New Toys

2010-01-22T09:50:00.000-05:00

My grandmother is kind of weird... every once in a while she'll go on these shopping sprees, and then there'll be a week where I'll get a huge box at the post office from her every day. Last week was one of those weeks, and here are some of the new toys I now have to play with!

The KitchenAid Artisan Series stand mixer in onyx black - which matches all our major appliances. Yay!

The Emerilware from T-fal White Bread Maker

She also sent us a new coffeepot (even though we already had two of them) and some fleece sheets. She's crazy, but I love her.

To be honest, though, I'm totally intimidated by my new toys. I haven't even used them yet for fear that I am royally going to screw something up. I'm a bake-by-hand kind of girl, mostly because I'm not very good at baking, so I'm really not sure how any of this is going to go.

Do any of you have any tips for me??

Contemplating Friendship

2010-01-19T16:20:00.002-05:00

I've been MIA again - getting back into the swing of working and wedding planning and all that jazz just proved too much for me. That and the never-ending allure of finishing everything at home quick quick quick so that I can pick up whatever book I've got on loan from the library! Mr. Gorgeous is starting to feel like a real bachelor again, except that I - without fail - feed him before I read. Feedings before readings, that's what I always say! (Or will say now, that I know it rhymes in such a delightful way.)

Switching topics... I spend a lot of time frustrated with the fact that I don't have very many girlfriends. Mostly, this is my own doing. I have a lot of faults that get in between maintaining a close friendship, namely being a self-absorbed loner, among other things.

My best girlfriend since I moved to Pennsylvania from Texas has been my mom (my bio-mom, not my G-mom who raised me). But when Mr. G and I started seeing each other seriously, my quality time with my mom took a hit. The things I did with my mom - going out and getting plastered at the local watering holes - just weren't conducive to my relationship with Mr. G. He didn't like it when I came over falling-down drunk. Who would? It's not classy. It's not cute.

After a while, though, I started to miss interactions with my mom and realized that just because that's always what we used to do together, doesn't mean that has to be what we do together in the future. And on Sunday, when I called her to see how her day had been, I realized that friendships weren't so much different than my relationship with Mr. G, in that they have to be maintained - it's a two-way street. If I don't call, if I don't suggest plans, and I don't make time to hang out, then I can't bitch when I feel like I don't have any friends.

One of my favorite shots of my mom and me

The same goes for making new friends. I always piss and moan about how I have such a hard time making new friends, and how Mr. G's friends' wives are nice people, "but they're not my friends." Well, maybe if I tried a little bit harder, they could be. Maybe if I took some initiative, maybe if I made some phone calls... maybe if I stopped acting like a stuck-up snot just to avoid what I feel is inevitable rejection, I would have some friends.

I realize now more than ever - now that I am about to join my life in a legal, binding way to a man I love deeply - that a well-rounded and healthy life is made up not only of that legal, binding relationship but of a circle of friends and family with whom you communicate regularly. It's phone calls on Sunday to my best friend in Texas whom I never see. It's random calls to my mom to get the latest townie gossip. It's making a point to have Girls' Night, even when all I really feel like doing after work is diving into my latest Philippa Gregory novel or watching Teen Mom on MTV.

While it's too late to make an official New Year's Resolution, I'm not going to let that stop me from resolving to spend more time fostering the friendships I have and attempting to deepen the ones I could have. These people are the ones who are going to be with me for the rest of my life - if I'm lucky. And if I'm not that lucky, I want to have more good times to remember when they're gone.

How do you go out of your way to maintain your friendships?

Stories

2010-01-06T13:02:00.001-05:00

I did a bad, bad thing over my holiday break: I got myself re-addicted to fiction.

All through graduate school I was obsessed with philosophy and politics, so it felt like a waste of time to read contemporary fiction. Sure, a classic here or there, but the same book I might see someone reading on an airplane? Not for me! Nosirree! (That's right, I am was a self-proclaimed Book Snob.)

But last year sometime, as I was trying to trudge through Howard Zinn's A Power Governments Cannot Suppress while Mr. Gorgeous watched baseball, I realized that I am no longer in the right frame of mind for non-fiction. I don't have any papers to write. My master's thesis is finished. I'm not vying for publication. I just want to read when Mr. G is watching something I don't give two hoots about!

So then I sat down with Don DeLillo's Names. While I found White Noise to be irresistible, Names was slow and dense. While I was following the story, kind of, and I adored the way DeLillo strings together words like an art form, I was only getting through three or four pages before I felt that I needed to put it down. Then I realized, finally, that maybe I needed to stop being such a book snob and pick up some "lighter" reading.

I had no idea where to start, so I turned to my Facebook pals for recommendations. After the last day of work for 2009, I went to the library and pulled 4 books, assuming at least two of them would suck*, and that I'd never make it through half of them anyway.

Um, I was wrong. Here's what I read:

One for the Money, Janet Evanovich

This was definitely the "lightest" reading of them all, but I finished it in two days. Once I got into the story, I couldn't put it down. It was my best girlfriend C who recommended I read this, the first in Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. I literally laughed out loud throughout this mystery novel, but though it was funny, Evanovich also really has a way with building tension and suspense. Loved it, loved it, loved it - currently reading Two for the Dough (the second in the Stephanie Plum series).

Second Glance, by Jodi Picoult

So when I think of Jodi Picoult, I think chick-lit, which as a Book Snob, I am against. But when an old classmate from the Writing and Rhetoric program at SEU (for whom I have a ton of respect) recommended it to me, I thought I'd look past my prejudices and give it a go. I am SO. GLAD. that I did. Sure, there was a running theme of love and relationships and parenthood, but there were underlying topics of eugenics and paranormal activity and history. After I finished it, I lent it to my mother-in-law, who also loved it.

The Other Boleyn Girl, by Philippa Gregory

This is the book that I thought for sure would bore me to tears. I couldn't have been ~~wronger~~ more wrong (hehehe). This historical fiction interpretation of the life of Anne Boleyn's little sister Mary was absolutely fascinating. I read all 661 pages in two days, one of those days including a marathon session that lasted from 7 p.m. until 3:30 in the morning! I literally could not let this story go. The next day I was up at 9 and reading it again. I was blown away by how sucked in I got. When I finished, I vowed to read every Philippa Gregory novel in existence (and then found out that The Other Boleyn Girl has a sequel AND a prequel)!

Giveaway Alert!
In light of my new-found love for Ms. Gregory, I found it rather serendipitous that one of my favorite blogs (Well-Heeled Blog) was hosting a giveaway of The Constant Princess, which a sort of prequel to The Other Boleyn Girl, chronicling the life of Katherine of Aragon, Henry VIII's first wife. Click to check it out, and go peruse the Well-Heeled archives for some really awesome personal finance tips.

What good books have you read lately? Please, feed my addiction!

*One of them did kinda suck: Darwinia, by Robert Charles Wilson. I finished it in a fairly short amount of time, but I am just not equipped to read science fiction.

Especially for Worse

2009-12-23T12:53:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I think I have love all figured out; other days I realize I still have a lot to learn.

A couple of months ago, when it was just starting to get cold outside*, I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. I was still exhausted, the house was chilly, and I could think of no redeeming qualities for the day ahead of me. I laid in bed for another ten minutes trying to make myself feel some kind of symptoms so I could call off work, then I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and threw myself into the shower.

At some point while showering, Dear Mister Gorgeous did something on my list of pet peeves, and I yelled out in response some rather crass and rude words. I know, I know... classy, right? Sometimes my temper gets away from me. (To be fair, I didn't think he would hear me. He did, though.)

I assumed he would avoid talking to me all day that day, but at some point while we were both at work, we struck up an email conversation. I brought myself to apologize (I suck at apologies and hate to give them) and told him I'd make it up to him. Here's how he responded:

"You don't have to 'make it up to me.' For better or for worse, right? Just hang in there and try to see the positives of a Thursday afternoon. For instance, when I get in a mood, I like to take five minutes and daydream about the weekend... ya know, the food we'll cook, the chores we'll get done, the PSU/Michigan game on Saturday, how we don't have anything to do like last weekend, the beauty of waking up on Saturday morning and sipping coffee without the rush of leaving for work. You know, the finer things in life."

This is a man who's got love and life figured out. This is a man I'm going to love forever.

When was the last time you learned a life lesson from the person that you love?

*It's no secret I become a real bitch when it's cold outside and the days start to get shorter. I grew up in Texas. Whatchagonna do about it?!?

Some Reviews

2009-12-22T09:08:00.000-05:00

Mpix.com*
To get out of some Xmas gifts rather cheaply, we decided to gift parents and grandparents with framed pictures of us from our engagement shoot. While I think this is slightly narcissistic, parents love this kind of crap. And who am I to judge what they love?

Based on some reviews I've read around the wedding blogosphere, we decided to use Mpix.com to print our pictures. (We have a disc of high-resolution images from our photographer and a copyright release.) Mpix does both color and black & white prints, including a couple of different paper options. We went with the absolute cheapest, and ordered several 5x7s and 4x6s. The 5x7s were only 99 cents each, and the 4x6s only 29 cents!

We sat down on a Wednesday night to upload and order all the images we wanted, and paid for overnight shipping (around $10.00). The pictures were on our doorstep by lunchtime on Friday. So fast! And the prints were great! They were definitely comparable to the ones we ordered for ourselves from our photographer. The colors were bright and sharp, and the paper felt professional. We'll be placing one 5x7 in a frame for each group and giving them the other prints we ordered.

Mpix can also do greeting cards, photo books, canvas wraps, and framing, so we'll definitely be using them again in the future to do prints of wedding pictures! I highly recommend... so easy, so fast, and so economical!

Every Jot and Tittle*

Sarcastic Gift Tags from Every Jot and Tittle

A couple of weeks ago, I won a package of sarcastic gift tags through Love and Marriage {blog}. They are seriously the coolest gift tags I've ever seen. They're thick, the colors and cool, and they're totally unique. I love them, and can't wait to attach them to the gifts I give out this year!

Every Jot and Tittle has a ton more cool paper products, including more gift tags for any occasion.

*These reviews aren't sponsored; just wanted to share my experiences with y'all!

I Was MIA

2009-12-18T13:50:00.000-05:00

Wow - so I've been MIA for over a week now. I have good excuses though! Last Wednesday, I went to the doctor for a sinus infection, which either got much, much worse on Sunday or turned into the flu. I was out of work last week on Wednesday, half of Thursday, and Friday, and I was also out on Monday. This whole week, though I've mostly been back to work, has been about recovery. I'm still only eating delicately, and I'm still really, really tired. But anyway, I'm back, I guess.

What I missed sharing with you all was the installation of our dishwasher! We didn't have one, but our kitchen did have a place for one, so we finally sucked it up and bought one. Lowe's was having a 20% off sale on all Bosch models, so we chose one of those and they put it in on Wednesday! We're still trying to fill it, so no reviews yet ;)

Tonight is Mr. Gorgeous' company Xmas party. I'm so tired, I can't even be excited.

Rather than go into a full-on post, I think I'll share some cool links from this past month. Hope you enjoy!

What Matters Now, an e-book written by Seth Godin, endorsed by one of my favorite bloggers, Not Quite Betty Crocker

A huge lot of Xmas recipes from The Life Accounts

A gift guide from the Smitten Kitchen that I intend to use to help build my wedding registry

Oh, and Meg at APW was on a roll last week: on premarital counseling, slow weddings, and the good ole' WIC at it again

Update on ATV Crash

2009-12-10T16:19:00.000-05:00

So, remember when I posted about some friends of friends of mine getting in that ATV wreck? The passenger was sent home the day after Thanksgiving and is recovering nicely.

The driver, MJ, passed away last night.

I didn't know him, so sympathies aren't necessary. I just felt the need to say something to someone. Thanks for being my someone, y'all.

Three Years and Counting

2009-12-09T09:25:00.000-05:00

Monday was the third anniversary of my first date with Mr. Gorgeous. We'd been chatting for a while via email already, but this was to be the first time we really hung out with each other. We met at a bar in the town we live in now, the Oak Grove Tavern (or to us, Ronnie's, because our town is small enough that you get to know your bar owners!).

The thing I still tease Mr. G about is that he brought his roommate along with him. He defends himself by saying, "I thought you might not be cool!" Ha! So Mr. G, his roommate Paul and I all had a rather interesting first date.

I still remember what I was wearing... and so does Mr. Gorgeous. "You were wearing those hideous boots that I hate," he says. "You're lucky I still dated you after that." What a fashionisto!

I also recall drinking several vodka-and-cranberries. In fact, I had to crash on the couch before I could drive home. It was not the classiest first date ever. It was not romantic. But somehow, some way, here we are. Three years later. Three little diamonds later. By the next time we celebrate our date-aversary, we'll be married. WOW.

I Care Too Much What People Think

2009-12-04T09:48:00.000-05:00

On Monday, I joined a group of my female coworkers for our monthly lunch out on the town. At the end, I got into a conversation with a girl that I don't know well about my wedding (she didn't even know I was engaged). She asked me if I was having a big wedding, and I said no - we'd only be having around 80 to 100 people. Not small, but by no means big!

Then I felt compelled to say, "I'm so over it though - I wish I'd have just gone to the courthouse."

But I don't wish for a courthouse wedding. Why did I say that? Why do I always say that when people ask me about my wedding? Is it because I feel the need to justify all the attention I'm paying to a day that is all about me? Is it because I feel the need to justify all the money we're spending? Is it because I don't think it's "cool" to be into weddings?!?

And then yesterday I read this great post by blogger Mrs. Cheese on Weddingbee. She said everything I was thinking - and so much better than I could have said it. Here's my favorite part:

"When I was engaged, I felt the unspoken pressure to make excuses for having a real wedding, to blame my parents or my husband or my family’s traditions for making me go through with it. For a while I even tried to convince myself that I had no choice. But I did, and clearly it was my choice, since my sweet husband would have gone along with whatever made me happy. And I’m glad I chose our wedding.

Weddings are awesome and I’m not afraid to say so. Because it needs to be said, don’t you think?"

I know it goes both ways, though. In some circles, there are those who feel the need to rationalize why they chose a courthouse wedding rather than a more elaborate affair. Or why they chose a sapphire instead of a diamond as an engagement ring. Or why they decided not to have a sit-down dinner or why they aren't serving alcohol or whatever!

The thing that really pisses me off about weddings is how they so often become pissing contests, and even if you couldn't care less who pissed farthest (is that the object of a pissing contest?), you get caught up in it by proxy. I often wonder if people are looking at what I'm doing thinking this or that about me and my family and my future fiance.

My friend A is also engaged, and she is throwing a huge, elaborate, high-budget wedding in a big city. Sometimes I find myself comparing the different aspects of our weddings as we plan them. I feel like I have to rationalize why we're limiting ourselves to a $100 invitation budget, or why Mr. Gorgeous doesn't want to honeymoon in the Caribbean.

I'm so sick of comparing my wedding to other people's. Why can't I just accept what I'm doing for what it is: Not a huge and traditional extravaganza. Not a simple courthouse union. Somewhere in between. When will I stop feeling like I have to rationalize myself to others?

Did any of you have struggles like this in your wedding planning?

Merging our Finances

2009-12-03T15:45:00.000-05:00

For several weeks, Mr. Gorgeous and I had planned to go to the bank to create a "joint account." That's what we'd been calling it: a joint account. I asked him the night before to talk with me while I was doing the dishes so we could talk through how it was all going to work. We both assumed we were on the same page about everything, but I just wanted to talk it out. Good thing, because it turned out we weren't even in the same book.

Here, he had thought we were going to start a joint savings account to save up for the wedding together, and I assumed we were going to start a joint checking account to start paying for our combined expenses together. "Shit, I'm glad we decided to talk about this," he said.

We so rarely sit down with the intention of having a serious conversation, that once we decided to do so, we really had no idea where to start. After some muttering and fumbling and looking at each other funny, I finally told him: "OK, you tell me what you thought and why."

Once we both explained our positions, he decided he really liked my idea. It was clear to both of us that if we combined forces financially, we could really see where we stood every month. He could better track my spending, I could better budget my personal expenses (I'm the frivolous spender in the relationship; he's very frugal), and at the end of the month, we'd have the clearest picture of what we'd used to support ourselves and how much we had left to put toward various savings ventures.

We are each keeping our own personal bank accounts, and we will take a specified amount of money from each paycheck for that account as a personal fund. We will also keep our own personal savings accounts, for now, although I suspect we will combine them soon.

Mr. Gorgeous and I grew up with very different attitudes about money. I was an only child, and my dad was a CEO of a hospital. He was the third of four children and his family, at times, struggled financially. I grew up to believe that if I wanted something, I could probably have it. He grew up with a much stronger work ethic and knew from the get-go that money didn't grow on trees. While I've learned a lot about managing my money in the last four years or so, I bring home a pretty decent paycheck and never felt an overwhelming need to save. So if I wanted something and I had the money in the bank - I bought it!

Going to the bank to open up our joint account was nearly as symbolic as I imagine marriage to be. This is where we truly combine our lives. This is where we take on each others' liabilities and benefit from each others' successes. I knew that my spending habits would have to change. And I'm totally ok with it. There's no I in tieam. Oh look, I snuck one in there!!! ;)

Seriously, though, I know we're headed for bigger and better things. Between the two of us, our decent salaries, and our kick-ass rent, we can save a lot of money for all those things we want in the future, like a nice wedding, a home, and then maybe a baby. We've had the joint account open for almost two weeks now, and it's gotten us talking a lot more about money. We ask each other, "Did you spend any money today?" And it's a question of genuine curiosity, not coming from an attitude of accusation. I know that we'll have fights about money, and I told him so when we were talking. But I also told him, "I want us to recognize right now that we'll fight, but that we'll get through it because we're rational beings and we love each other... more than money."

How do you and your significant other manage finances? Do you have a joint account? If so, do you each have your own as well?

My Family is Crazy

2009-12-01T11:16:00.001-05:00

I always wanted a really normal family - one that truly enjoyed being together. One that had wholesome holiday traditions. The kind you see in sappy holiday films. But that's just not my family. (Is it anyone's?)
I originally decided that Mr. Gorgeous and I should go to my mom's for Thanksgiving because, now that both of my brothers are in college, I rarely see them. And we already spend a lot of time with his family, so I thought we should split it up a bit. The "guest list" was originally just myself and my fiance, my mom, and my two brothers. By Thursday, though, it had grown to also include Carol - a dear friend of the family - and my mom's boyfriend.

You see, with my mom, nothing ever goes as planned. We originally set out to eat around 11. I don't think dinner was on the table until two. Carol arrived at my mom's around 7:30, and I got there at 9. We started drinking immediately - mimosas, then Red Cat wine, then beer. Carol took charge of most of the cooking, while Mr. Gorgeous and I helped, I made my friend A's mac & cheese recipe, and my mom mostly just drank. Bless her heart.

It ended up being my most memorable Thanksgiving ever. We all helped. (Except for maybe my mom, but she hosted - so whatever!) It really felt like a group effort, and by the time we all sat down to the table, it was obvious that - in some crazy ass way or another - we were all family. To me, this Thanksgiving was all about forgetting all those standards I thought my family didn't live up to, and accepting them for exactly who and what they are.

I give thanks for the family that I have instead of sending pleas out into the ether for a family I don't have. "Grass-is-greener" mentality, begone. I have a family who doesn't look at me funny when I start drinking at 9 in the morning. Or earlier. I have a family among whom I can say anything - no, really. I have a family to whom I am always a success. I was happy to play a part in creating a Thanksgiving dinner for these people, and they were happy to be with me as well. What more can any one person rightfully ask for?

I wanted to share my mac & cheese recipe that I got and tweaked from A. I'll include it exactly how I did it; just know that pretty much, you can do no wrong with this. A told me that, and she was absolutely right. I did my thing, and it turned out wonderfully.

A's Mac & Cheese
4 cups uncooked macaroni elbows
Cooking spray
2 T butter
1/4 cup finely diced onion
2 cans (12 oz each) evaporated milk
3 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 block of Colby-Jack, chopped into small pieces

Cook the macaroni. Spray the inside of your slow cooker with cooking spray. Don't go lightly on this... you'll need it. Toss your al dente macaroni into the slow cooker with the butter. Add the onion, dump in the evaporated milk, then stir in all your cheese. Cook on high for one hour, then move the heat to low for another hour - and you're done! I stirred frequently throughout to make sure the cheese distributed evenly while melting.

It was so, so good. Mr. Gorgeous loved it, too, and he's a huge Kraft fan. You could really taste the onion (in a delicious way), so if you don't like onion, you may want to use less. (More if you really love it!) The Colby-Jack gave it a unique flavor, so if you're into a more traditional mac & cheese, you may want to replace it with more cheddar.

I hope all of you had fabulous Thanksgiving holidays - I've enjoyed reading about them! Is there anything about your family that you'd change? How have you come to accept the people that you're bonded to by blood?

The Spoils of War

2009-11-25T11:32:00.000-05:00

As you know, shopping even this close to Xmas can be hazardous to your health. Shopping with my friend A, who was just in visiting from Houston this past weekend, can be doubly so. We spent no fewer than five hours scouring the Park City Center in Lancaster, PA for cute finds and great deals. Here are some of my favorite purchases!

New York & Company - Antique-Button Flower Cardigan

New York & Company - York Avenue Pull-on Heathered Stripe Pants

Sephora - Aquolina Pink Sugar

Giving Some Extra Thanks

2009-11-25T11:01:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, some friends of friends were involved in a horrible 4-wheeler accident.

Every so often, a big group of folks get together for a 4-wheeler poker run. This past Sunday was one like any other, until one of the riders flipped his machine. Apparently, as he swerved to avoid hitting another rider, the machine flipped. Neither he nor his passenger were wearing helmets.

"I thought they were dead," my mom told me later. The rest of her description is too graphic for me to want to publish here. They were both life-flighted to Geisinger Medical Center in Danville, PA.

The prognosis was grim for the driver - they didn't think he would make it through the night, but he is now showing some improvement. However, they've kept him sedated so they're not sure what, if any, permanent damage was done to the brain. His passenger will be sent home in a couple of days, or at least to a hospital closer to her home and her significant other.

The part that hits closest to home for me is that this could have been my mom and her boyfriend. She was there. It could have been another good friend of mine, who was also there. It could have been my 18-year-old brother, who was on the 4-wheeler directly behind the accident. It could have been my little brother, damn it.

Needless to say, I am so, so thankful to be spending Thanksgiving with my mom, my two brothers, one other person who was on the poker run, and my fiance - and I will be making sure to hug each one of them a little tighter than usual.

37 Days Until Xmas

2009-11-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

There are 38 days until Xmas. Luckily for me, I have Etsy and all sorts of resourceful bloggers in my life. I am so happy to have discovered, through Peonies and Polaroids, Etsy seller littlebrownpen. Talk about some great gift ideas!

This calendar is totally the gift that keeps on giving, and I can totally see it on the wall of a dear friend who loves Paris and all things European!

Yum. Who doesn't love whoopie pies?? This is such a cute idea for a gift, too. Seller littlebrownpen will send her tried and true recipe, as well as these adorable muslin bags and whoopie-pie gift tags so you can share the love with eight of your closest pals (or those family members for whom you have no idea what to buy).

And then just by happenstance, as I was searching for cookie recipes the other day, I stumbled upon this recipe for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffin Mix in a Jar. I am going to make people fat this Xmas!

Also, check out this great holiday gift post by Fabulously Broke in the City.

Have you gotten any cool gift ideas lately?

**all images courtesy of littlebrownpen on Etsy

Houses Become Homes

2009-11-18T11:40:00.001-05:00

Going through the engagement process, I think a lot about home and family. I am, essentially, creating my family with every move I make. By this time next year, I will have a husband. By this time three years from now, we'll likely be trying for a baby (though nothing's set in stone, I know he's more than ready). It's important to me that the life we create feel like home.

I moved out of my parents' home when I was 16 and never cared to look back. I'm 26 now, so by the time I'm married, I'll have been "on my own" for a decade. Right after I moved out, my parents sold my childhood home and moved away. So I felt a little bit transient all through college. When I got my first real apartment by myself, six years later, I started to feel more comfortable alone, but it wasn't until my second apartment - in a town where I knew no one - that I really learned to feel at home all by myself. I don't know what it was that finally clicked. It could have been that I was in a comfortable relationship, even though we hardly ever saw each other. Or it could have been just plain time and maturity.

{Us in 2007 - speaking of maturity!}

It actually took me a lot longer to feel at home when I moved into Mr. Gorgeous' house. It was his house, you know? And our relationship hadn't truly been tested yet. I'd been living out of town for the past year. We went through rough patches. We had our moments. But sometimes, I just wished that I lived alone again.

Now, though, our relationship has matured a lot. We're engaged. We know each other through and through. And we have these two beautiful dogs that make my day beautiful, every day. Home has finally become, to me, this place that we create - the two of us. It's coming home from work to two wagging tails in the window or at the fence line. It's coming in the door to paws on my chest and a hug from the mister. It's making dinner together then sitting down in front of the TV and talking about our days. It's drinking a glass of wine in my pajamas. It's being totally cool with watching the other TV if I get bored with whatever sports game he's watching. It's being ok with not sleeping next to one another every night, if one of us falls asleep on the couch or if he stays downstairs to watch the fire in the winter.

{Mr. Gorgeous and our girls - 2008}

My fiance - and this place that we've built to be our own - is home to me. And I look to my future and know that wherever we are, as long as we're together, we will be at home together. Sometimes I will make him dinner. Sometimes I will fold his laundry. Sometimes I will wipe his whiskers out of the bathroom sink. Sometimes he will do the dishes. And sometimes we'll do those things together. Someday we'll buy a house. Maybe we'll do some landscaping in the backyard, or build a deck. Maybe we'll have a child together, and teach it how to grow, to learn, to play, to think, to live. We'll have rough times, and we'll have beautiful times.

We won't have extraordinary lives. We won't be actors, models, or rock stars. We won't make millions of dollars. We will struggle at times, and sometimes we might even question the decisions we make now with such optimism and glee. But as long as we have each other, we're home.

{One of our engagement photos - 2009}

What does home mean to you?

Cookies.

2009-11-16T14:57:00.001-05:00

The Mister and I love to bake. My favorite things are muffins and breads with any and every kind of fruit in them. He likes brownies. Heavenly chocolate brownies. But with the holiday season fast-approaching, our focus is turning toward cookies. Last night, I decided to try my hand at from-scratch cookies (we typically use the bagged mixes). While I am a chocolate-chip or peanut-butter kinda girl, Mr. Gorgeous specifically requested oatmeal raisin - so I went on the hunt for a recipe.

I found one. Oh, LORD, did I find one: "thick, chewy oatmeal raisin cookies" at Smitten Kitchen.

This is a half recipe. It makes a couple dozen standard-size cookies. (I get more because I make them tinier.) I always feel like I’m swimming in cookies when I make the full volume, but if you’re feeding a crowd, go ahead and double it.

1/2 cup (1 stick or 4 ounces) butter, softened
2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt (I often use a half teaspoon, but I like more salt in my baked goods)
1 1/2 cups rolled oats
3/4 cup raisins
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped (optional)

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).
In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, egg and vanilla until smooth. In a separate bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together. Stir this into the butter/sugar mixture. Stir in the oats, raisins and walnuts, if using them.

At this point you can either chill the dough for a bit in the fridge and then scoop it, or scoop the cookies onto a sheet and then chill the whole tray before baking them. You could also bake them right away, if you’re impatient, but I do find that they end up slighly less thick.

The cookies should be two inches apart on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake them for 10 to 12 minutes (your baking time will vary, depending on your oven and how cold the cookies were going in), taking them out when golden at the edges but still a little undercooked-looking on top. Let them sit on the hot baking sheet for five minutes before transferring them to a rack to cool.

I followed Deb's directions pretty much to the letter - hey, it was my first time! - with the following exceptions: I replaced 1/3 of the flour with King Arthur White Whole Wheat Flour in an attempt to be semi-healthy. I did not chill my dough... we were too impatient for that. I did not use the walnuts. And I made my cookies pretty big; we ended up with about a dozen. Though I made the cookies rather large, I still only baked them for ten minutes. The Mister likes his baked goods just this side of done, so the mushier, the better.

These cookies did not come out super-sweet. They were delicious, though, and had sort of an earthy undertone. I imagine this is because 1) this recipe doesn't call for a lot of sugar, and 2) I used that whole wheat flour. Despite my not typically being a huge oatmeal-raisin fan, these cookies were phenomenal, and I will definitely be keeping them in my repertoire. Next time I make them, I'm doubling the recipe, as we only had five or so left this morning!

Serendipitously, A at Accordions and Lace also posted about a Smitten Kitchen recipe: "martha's macaroni and cheese," adapted from Martha Stewart... and it. looks. fabulous. It is on my Must Make list!

Do you have any great cookie recipes?

Wifing Skills

2009-11-13T16:10:00.001-05:00

wifing [wahyf-ing]
-verb
1. the act of being a wife

I have a confession to make........ I'm (a wee tiny bit, on occasion maybe, sometimes) lazy.

I used to be proud of my ability to do nothing. Give me a comfy chair, a laptop, and a television (maybe some movies if there's no cable), and I am the master of just being for days on end. But I was single then... and now I'm not. It's a hard thing for me to admit now, as I get older; I don't want to be lazy. And now that I'm engaged, I've been thinking a lot about my changing roles in life and in the household.

I see all these strong women around me, working all day then going home and working all evening to make sure their house is spotless, their significant others/kids are fed, and everyone is happy. I want my house to be clean. I really do. But after leaving the house at 7 a.m. to get to work and arriving home at 5:45, I don't want to clean out the fridge. I don't want to wash the coffee pot. And for goodness' sake, I don't want to wash the dishes, by hand, since we don't have a dishwasher. (We've moved away from making instant meals like frozen bagged meals or things from a box in the interest of health, and I'm sure you know how many more dishes that dirties and how much longer it takes to prepare.)

I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things I want done and still have time to myself. I have big aspirations for myself - reading all those new books I still haven't cracked, blogging, and watching all those new movies I want to see. Not to mention that I haven't picked up my guitar in over a year.

Those are the things I don't have time to do, but there are these other things, too - the things that I don't even know how to do. I'm not crafty, I can't make cute things, I don't know a lot of fabulous recipes for dinner parties, and I've never sewn a stitch in my life. Not one.

It seems like the 50s-style homemaker is really coming back in vogue now. Women are proud to be happy housewives. And that's alright! But I'm a career-minded woman, I have a master's degree, and I'm not very, well, motherly. I get pissed off at my fiance when I come home to his lunch plates still sitting on the coffee table, or when I go into the bathroom in the morning and his dirty clothes are still on the floor.

So, I've been thinking... will I be a bad wife??

I hope not. But just for funsies, I Googled "being a good wife." Everything seems to be focused on the housewife - but what about us ladies who work? I leave a half-hour after my fiance in the morning, and get home typically between 30 - 45 minutes after him! So what kind of role does the wife play when she shares duties with her husband?

What do you think it means to be a good wife?